Time for Plan B

New tactics for the same pressing issues

According to the Center for Reproductive Rights, there are 21 states that could well ban abortion outright: Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Delaware, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Virginia, and Wisconsin. Nine others are somewhat less likely to ban abortion: Arizona, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, New Hampshire, and Pennsylvania.

Polymorphous Perversity

With Bush set to promote a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage outright, it's time to monkey-wrench this much misused institution. Since society is set up to reward heterosexual married couples with various tax breaks and other economic inducements, the thing to do is by all means get married.

Single people should waste no time in marrying other single people. Gay men can marry lesbians or straight single women. Lesbians can marry gay or straight men. Once the marriage is legally carried out, you can revert to life as you live it, take advantage of tax breaks and other perks, and effectively enter into civil unions of one sort or another.

Get Out

If you can't take it anymore, go to the website Citizenship and Immigration Canada (www.cic.gc.ca) and jump ship.

Research: Laurie Anne Agnese, Nicole Duarte, and David Botti

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