Sexy Gift Guide 5.0

For the size queens on your list, you're in luck: Two of the top silicone dildo manufacturers have released their biggest creations yet: Spinal Tap (, $96) and Sherbert (, $59.95). If those don't fill the need, there's always Doc Johnson's Great American Challenge ($59.95), a dong the length of a roll of wrapping paper and with a girth bigger than my arm. Speaking of which, wrap your goodies in "Merry Fuckin' Christmas" wrapping paper (, $4). Hopefully, "Happy Fuckin' Hanukkah" paper is in the works.

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