A Revolutionary Relationship

You can learn a lot from Betty Dodson's 30-plus years of non-monogamy

I'd thought that I too might feel awkward—I am talking to the female partner of the last guy I slept with. But I feel only amazement at Dodson's attitude, which turns our culture's totalistic devotion to monogamy on its head. We generally assume that actions speak louder than words, which in the case of sex means that physical monogamy is the only true way of showing our love. And yet, even for those who manage to keep their pants on (surely fewer than we'd like to believe), what about their dirty thoughts and fantasies? Growing up, we're taught that one person should be enough to satisfy all our carnal needs, leaving many with false expectations and crushed hopes. Dodson's lived through those and doesn't want to again. "When I die, baby, I'm gonna have so few regrets. Isn't that what it's all about, to live life fully?"

Our conversation is done, yet the feisty Dodson still has more to say, and she surprises me yet again. "The next time you're with Eric, know that I'm blessing you at every moment." I smile as I hang up, sure that on my date with him, I'll still be feeling Dodson's warmth, energy, and compassion.

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