So's the cast of Forbidden Broadway: Special Victims Unit, which is so giddy that in the Avenue Q sketch, they miraculously rhyme "Tony" with "cloth cojone." As for forbidden Off-Broadway, cojone-laden NEIL LABUTE's haunting Fat Pig dabbles in some cutesy dialogue followed by sitcommy comebacks like "Very funny!" or "You're a piece of work, you know that!" It gets more fleshy, though, when darkly examining the universal fear of dating someone unpopular. (And I should know. I've dated someone unpopular.) Of course if the JEREMY PIVEN character just said, "I love you, pig woman, and that's that," there'd be no play. He has to be a giant wussalmost as reprehensible as his co-worker (ANDREW MCCARTHY) who mocks the relationship and practically calls women sweetheart, all whileam I the only one who noticed this?reading a gay magazine! LaBute is a piece of work, you know that.
And so am I, snort snort. Forty-foot-high me. Love it!
LITTER BOX
BITTER TIDBITS
The ads for A Very Long Engagementboldly proclaim it an award "winner!" But look at the smaller print under that and it's actually a Golden Globe nominee. I guess it's won a nomination . . . In the Golden Globe-nominated A Love Song for Bobby Long,JOHN TRAVOLTA gets so floridly into crossing his legs and caressing those pseudo Tennessee Williams phrases, you're amazed to find the character isn't prepping for a sex change . . . Going to hell on a streetcar named desire, SCOTT PETERSON has been the butt of some eerily vague judiciary logic. Apparently, jurors didn't like Peterson because he didn't show remorse or caring (but if he didn't do it, how would he show remorse?), he acted unemotional (but screaming in court would have been equally ill-advised), and he didn't personally plead for his life (I guess that's the only way they'd know he'd rather stay alive). Hey, I agree that Scott's the Antichrist, but I wish they'd have come up with a more substantial reason for frying him than "He didn't seem nice" (though the corpses floating near the fishing jaunt were a problem.) . . . Even more tragic was the quote heard at a recent Interview party: "I wasn't even really invited and I'm on page three of the diaries!"
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