Threesome Mania

Triple play can be ecstatic, but doesn't always guarantee a good time

I didn't expect the Voice's holiday party to land me in the middle of two potential threesomes, but that's exactly what happened. I'd been talking to a couple, and when they told me about their interest in swingers' parties, I realized they might want to do more than just talk. Once we started dancing, we ground against each other with abandon. I drew upon some inner anti-embarrassment reserves and let myself go, shaking my ass while sandwiched between the two hotties. He grabbed my hip and pressed his erection against me while she shimmied in front of me, providing a more than ample glimpse of her cleavage. Being so close to them was arousing, and I'd certainly have gone home with them if they'd asked, but when they simply said goodbye, I didn't think it proper to invite myself along.

I wound up leaving the party in a group of seven. We headed to someone's West Village apartment, where sexual tension ran rampant. If any two people had started making out, I'm sure an orgy would've followed, but despite mild flirting, the night eventually wound down until it was only my friend A., our host Rick, and me. She lay across his lap on the couch, while I sat across from them. We spent an hour talking about hand jobs from masseuses and our wildest sexual experiences, while Rick's hands wandered all over A., trying to show me her underwear. I love A., but not in an erotic way; she's tons of fun, like a little sister to me. Eventually, when it was clear we weren't hopping into the sack with him (at least, not together), he pulled out the Murphy bed in the living room. Feeling frisky and turned-on, I went into his room, but when I tried to touch his cock, he pushed me away, asking if A. was joining us for a good-night kiss. For him, it was a threesome or nothing, so I went back to the Murphy bed, and in the morning we tiptoed out.

Guys like Rick treat threesomes like the holy grail of sex, putting the act on such a pedestal they're bound to be disappointed. My friend Laura got it right when she said guys act like they'll hop into bed with any two girls who happen their way, as if by magic a threesome will be the Best Experience of Their Lives. It's like when I tell someone I'm bisexual, and they hear "will fuck anyone"; it's not that simple an equation.

According to Violet Blue, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy (Cleis Press, 2004), threesomes top the list of most- desired fantasies, and for good reason. I love threesomes. I've been in several with one guy and one girl, usually couples. What I like best is not just the sense of wildness and unpredictability, but how the usual erotic sensations are multiplied. Feeling so many hands, mouths, nipples, and genitals is thrilling. Every sensation is amplified so even the simplest stroke takes on new meaning. I can kiss one person while feeling up the other, get pampered by both, or pounce on one with a co-conspirator who shares my interest. Threesomes can take away some of the pressure of two-person sex, dissipating tension while maintaining the hotness. There's someone else to laugh with, and a sense of shared enjoyment of a lover's body.

During sex with a couple, I get to tap into their erotic chemistry. They bring their lust for each other and their sexual history. They touch not with the tentative fumbling of the newly acquainted, but with the knowledge that comes from sustained intimacy. I get to be the ultimate voyeur. Once, I lay underneath my friend while her boyfriend fucked her, and it was exciting to intimately feel every move they made. I've also been the center of attention, getting penetrated anally and vaginally while being told what a slut I was for liking it.

Threesomes are also a way for many women to play out their bisexuality safely and nonthreateningly. I find both men's and women's bodies tremendously arousing, but in different ways, and to have those contrasting sensations rubbing against me, right at my fingertips, is a treat.

But threesomes can provoke unexpected reactions. Jealousy can rear its ugly head, and the guy who's clamoring for a threesome, ready to offer up his fortune or firstborn, may find himself reacting like Ross on Friends when he and Ellen decided to bring a woman into their bedroom; Ellen went wild for the other woman and proceeded to ignore him. Some things are best left as fantasies, and you may not know what you can handle until the actual moment arrives.

I wrote in my blog recently that the people who turn my head and make me pant are all gay guys, straight girls, and married couples. I'm constantly seeing cute couples who I'd love to join for a night. It's hard to tell sometimes if a couple is flirting with me, because it's not what I'd normally expect (hint: Be direct and explicit if you're trying to pick up a third for your conjugal bed). As a single person, I can relax and enjoy myself and not worry about any potential relationship drama. I'd be much more hesitant to have a threesome with someone I was seriously dating, because while the pleasure might still be there, the potential for jealousy and drama is too high.

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