AVN Adult Expo, Day Four

LAS VEGAS—The last day of the expo was a mix of celebration for those who won the night before, lingering disappointment for the losers, and hangovers for everyone. Unlike Saturday, there was no line of fans a mile long just to get inside, no equally long line to get an autograph from some of the biggest names in adult film. Instead, at 10:30 a.m., the convention floor was its quietest. I munched on a cranberry muffin as I strolled around, thankful for the lack of crowds but cursing the unkind fluorescent lights. Best Tease Performance winner Vicki Vette had a perma-grin on her face as she signed autographs. Teagan Presley, the odds-on favorite for Best New Starlet who lost to Cytherea, was MIA for our morning interview; I was content to stare, again, at her shiny skin and seductive eyes on the 10-foot-tall reproduction of her likeness which graced the back wall of the Digital Playground booth. Business was still brisk for the un-porno couple selling I (Heart) Vagina T-shirts, and the folks hocking Clown Porn: The Movie DVDs seemed equally smiley. I passed an enlarged cover of my favorite new porn title, Honey We Blew Up Your Pussy, featuring a photo depicting clever use of a clit pump, at Kick Ass Pictures. I watched a line form at the ClubJenna booth an hour before its star was due to arrive. I heard Britney Spears blasting from the GayVN Lounge. As I walked through the casino back to my hotel room, it felt like the last day of summer camp, where the numbers slowly dwindle. Familiar faces and breast implants were replaced by regular people (still with breast implants, since it is Vegas). The largest gathering of porno pros, amateurs, fans, and press was dispersing, headed back to hometowns where, sadly, there is no one named Boo D. Licious in the phone book, spanking isn't considered a separate genre from BDSM, and no one wins a trophy for their masturbation performance.