By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
We asked our favorite night crawlers for their New Year's resolutions and wishes for 2005. Me, I resolve to get blonder and blonder, and dumber and dumber.
JUSTIN BOND, a/k/a KIKI: To read and memorize every word of PARIS HILTON's autobiography and to never do anything without first asking myself, "What would Paris do?"
DANNY KRIVIT, DJ, 718 Sessions: To finally get enough records out of my house so that I can actually have enough space to invite someone in.
MAGGIE STEIN, publicist: I recently started a grassroots social movement called Back Away From Your Computer, encouraging people to stop typing and start talking. I want to bring back old-school forms of communication like eye contact, deep conversation, high fiving, and in-person hobnobbing. As of now, it's a revolution of one (me), but I hope to recruit others.
DANNY TENAGLIA, DJ: Wish: For people to become more spiritual again. Many people today don't seem to be raising their children on good beliefs in God.
ANGIE PONTANI, THE PONTANI SISTERS: To get my own horse and star in a western movie. To learn to figure skate before the spring!
DIRTY MARTINI, Miss Exotic World: To have more olives in my martinis and to cross my legs like a lady. I'm pretty foggy on last year's resolution, but I bet I did it.
KRIS CHEN, head honcho, Domino Records: To finally accomplish last year's resolutions, which were to relearn French, figure out why I'm such a snob, submit writing samples to The Economist, and date celebrities. The new resolution is to quit threatening to punch people who say I look like Scott from Other Music.
FANCY, FANNYPACK: I can't say I have succeeded in any of last year's resolutions, but why focus on past failures when there are so many new failures to experience? This year I resolve to start wearing my leather Africa medallion and bring back the choker.
THOMAS ONORATO, doorbitch, Motherfucker: In 2004, I did find a lip gloss that is so amazing and not sticky! This year I want to find a facialist who is slightly less aggressive but no less effective.
GREG K, DJ, MisShapes: My resolution is a makeover, cleaning my house, my mind, and to get hair extensions.
MURRAY HILL, entertainer: I'm gonna keep my chins up.
ADAM DUGAS, Chaos & Candy: I resolve to stay camera-ready.
JUNIOR BOYS MATT DIDEMUSand JEREMY GREENSPAN: Matt's resolution is to stop smoking. Jeremy's is to stay away from Matt while he is quitting. Wish: World peace and a new DAFT PUNK album.
JAKE SHEARS, singer, SCISSOR SISTERS: To hole up and make things.
ADAM X, techno DJ, Sonic Groove: To release at least four records on vinyl. My wish is that things turn around in the party scene in the U.S.A.
PHILIP OH, promoter: Wish: That no more of my friends move to Berlin.
LARRY TEE, DJ: Wish: To never hear the word electroclash again.
ULYSSES, techno DJ-producer: Last year I promised to be good. This year I promise to be bad, sooo bad. Well I'm not in jail, so maybe I didn't take it far enough.
ANDREW ANDREW, "twins": Wish: A responsible world government, and that the charges against us get dropped.
JAYNE COUNTY, transgender punk rocker: To go back to being as vile, nasty, and offensive onstage as possible!
COWBOY MARK, DJ: To build better karma by being nicer to those folks who request songs and to use less of those drink tickets on myself!
LISA HSU, promoter: I will use more of those drink tickets for myself!
GORDON RAPHAEL, producer, THE STROKES: Wish: For Republicans, conservatives, and those who have little imagination to be sent on a slow train to Mars.
MOBY, artist, activist: To stop myself from getting upset about political developments over which I have no control.