By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
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By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22Dec. 21): It's illegal for women to drive cars in Saudi Arabia. Religious fundamentalists there have managed to twist public policy to reflect their wacky beliefs. (Does that sound like any other country you know?) But one Saudi woman, Hanadi Hindi, has refused to be shut out of the fun of piloting her own vehicle: She learned to fly planes in Jordan and has been hired by a billionaire Saudi prince to work for his private airline. I nominate her to be a source of inspiration for you, Sagittarius. If there is a desirable role to which you have been denied access, don't waste your time and energy fighting the problem: Simply leap to the next level.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22Jan. 19): Ludacris is "a well-rounded hedonist who pursues a balanced lineup of vices and addictions," says Nathan Rabin in his review of the hip-hop star's new CD, The Red Light District. I suggest that you treat Ludacris as your partial role model in the coming week, Capricorn, even as you also regard him as your anti-role model. Here's what I mean: You should be a well-rounded hedonist, but not by pursuing vices and addictions. Instead, seek out excitement that resonates with your noblest ideals, pleasures that thrill your soul as well as your body, and blissful adventures that enhance the health of you and everyone else you encounter.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20Feb. 18): Before going to sleep last night, I studied your astrological aspects for the coming week and asked my dreams to send me clues about what information you needed in your horoscope. I awoke at dawn with the answer. In my dream, I was at a mass birthday party for hundreds of Aquarians. Everyone was drinking tea made from an herb called Job's tears as the goth band Lake of Tears performed. Then I gave a poetic speech on how crying can achieve the same effect as orgasm. As the dream climaxed, I led everyone outside into the drizzly night. We looked skyward and let the raindrops drench our faces as we did a mass sing-along of "Cry Me a River," each of us lost in a private ritual of relief and release.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess-worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES (Feb. 19March 20): According to U.S. News & World Report, 74 percent of the population believes that "if a prayer goes unanswered it probably didn't fit into God's plan." I hope you don't adopt such a wimpy attitude about your own divine petitions in the coming weeks. The way I understand the current astrological omens, God may ignore your pleas for now, but is not ultimately opposed to granting them. Frankly, I suspect that the Creator needs you to change something about yourself before you will get your wish.
Free Will Astrology is a weekly horoscope published every Wednesday at 3pm EST.
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