By Elliott Sharp
By Hilary Hughes
By Rob Trucks
By Luke Winkie
By Seth Colter Walls
By Brett Koshkin
By Spencer Wilking
By Christina Black
The Houston rapper throws onions at his rims to make pico de gallo. He's got baby mamas that work at Walgreens. He's got a gift card for free puss. He likes chiches and nalgas, but it's OK because so do Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell. He says in "Chingo 4 President" that we'll all be in trouble if his people go vote, but he reps Democratic all the way. In the skit following that song, President Bling admits to building a room onto the White House for his abuelita, but only because he got the plywood free at Home Depot. Then he beats up a reporter. He rhymes "gingivitis" with "in the club tryin'a fight us." He bites lines from Milk D, Beenie Man, and Fozzie Bear.
He sometimes turns into other people, like the Reverend Runamuck Ballsalot or country singer Jimmy Dean Boberry, who comes on to warble his hit "Pop Tailgate . . . Woooo!!!" The best alternate personality is Naseem da Freestyle Dream, a thoroughly un-p.c. Middle Eastern/Indian guy (from Poptrunkistan, actually) who grabs the mic at the end of one song and wrecks: "Me and Osama got the same baby mama." And the icing on the cake is the bonus track"El Corrido de Chingo Bling," cheesy accordion and all.
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