Horoscope

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Movie actress Kate Winslet is your role model this week, Sagittarius. In her 17 movies, she has played a staggeringly wide variety of characters, from an innocent romantic in Sense and Sensibility to a spontaneity-loving free spirit in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to a street-wise sewer rat for an upcoming Claymation comedy called Flushed Away. Come to think of it, those are three of the many personas you might consider adapting in the coming days. Like Winslet, you should avoid typecasting as you keep yourself highly entertained in a dazzling array of colorful milieus.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): "Believing" in God is like "believing" in the taste of a peach without ever having tasted an actual peach. But what if I told you that you could actually commune with the Divine Wow through up-close, personal encounters that are as vivid and palpable as eating a peach? It's a distinct possibility for you in the coming weeks, Capricorn. The best way to increase your chances of having this heart-to-heart intimacy with Supreme Magic is, first, to want it very badly, and second, to unleash generous expressions of love as often as possible.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): Emily, Madison, and Kaitlyn were among the most popular names for new baby girls last year, whereas Jacob, Ryan, and Nicholas were top choices for boys. Thevoiceofreason.com website notes that on the other hand, Condescensia, Crumpet, and Bucket were some of the least popular girl names, and Beelzebub, Humpty, and Scratch were the least favorite for boys. I hope you will ignore both extremes, Aquarius, as you select an additional new nickname or tag for yourself in the coming days. While the astrological omens suggest it's a good time to expand your self-concept, it's a bad time to be overly influenced either by the trends or by knee-jerk rebellions against the trends.

PISCES (Feb. 19–March 20): The Weekly World News reports that hell has a special pain-free section for masochists. The evidence comes from an s/m aficionado who traveled to this anomalous part of the nether realm during a near-death experience. "There was no beating, no torture, no poking with blazing pitchforks—not even a decent smack in the face," testified Melissa Surkovsky. While I am definitely not predicting you will visit this place, Pisces, I must warn you that you may soon have a semi-comparable experience here on earth. As much as you might be tempted, you simply won't be able to indulge in any of your own masochistic tendencies. You may even have to endure something like what Surkovsky did: "I was taken to a well-lit chamber and placed in a comfortable reclining chair, then waited on hand and foot by demons who were so polite, it was annoying."


Free Will Astrology is a weekly horoscope published every Wednesday at 3pm EST.

HOMEWORK Which actor or actress would be the best choice to play you in a film about your life? Testify at freewillastrology.com.

« Previous Page
 |
 
1
 
2
 
All
 
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
 
Loading...