NY Mirror

Finger me Elmo

But let's point to the future with some food for thought and discuss how the family values crowd is aghast again about the threat of cartoon homosexuality. The strangest aspect of this doofy debate is that the liberal argument seems to always be, "But how could a cartoon character have sexuality?" Honey, tell that to everyone from Prince Charming to Mickey Mouse to Yogi Bear, all of whom had hot girlfriends. The reality is, cartoon characters do often have sexuality; the public just doesn't make much of it because it's straight and pretty routine. If it were gay, everyone would not only notice, they'd shit themselves, so creators have to put it in via signifiers and suggestions to get their point across while denying it like crazy. The JERRY FALWELLs find this dangerous. I find it wonderful. And by the way, forget SpongeBob and the starfish. The Squidward character is a total screamer!

Now onto February.

So '90s: An MC Hammer wannabe at Nerveana
photo: Staci Schwartz
So '90s: An MC Hammer wannabe at Nerveana

Push push in the Bush

Jones with Tony Orlando at the Bush inaugural
photo: Diane Jenkins
Wait, I can't resist some more '70s-related mania: I recently wrote that the original cowboy from the VILLAGE PEOPLE, openly gay RANDY JONES, had agreed to perform at the Bush inaugural festivities, and some people were angrier than I was when disco died. Well, here's Randy's post-show reply: "I was able to stand in front of more than 1,000 Republicans, speak of my husband of almost 21 years, WILL GREGA, and still have them waving their arms and forming the letters of YMCA just like little kids. It really was quite a surprising show of . . . well, I don't think tolerance is the right word and neither is acceptance. . . . It was like, 'Well, OK, that's the way it is, and we love the song and whatever comes with it.' It was exactly like any Village People audience—young folks, old folks, blacks, whites, and lots of Dorothy's friends. I was very impressed that I didn't run into one iota of rudeness, intolerance, or anything to make me feel bad. Of course I still will not be a Republican." Oh, good—they have enough of Dorothy's friends.

One more '70s-themed exclusive: MISS PIGGY will be sitting front row at this Friday's Heatherette show. I'm beside moi-self!


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