I couldn't have predicted a more perfect personal-ad encounter. What I loved best was not her ability to read my submissive tendencies like a book, knowing just how to bite my back and order me around, nor even that she was so stunningly gorgeous I'd stare longingly, marveling at her amazing body, nor the ejaculatory orgasm she coaxed from me. What made this night so special were the glimpses of raw, honest emotion, the ones that make sex worth it for me: pouring out my heart to her about my not-so-secret crush, Dean telling me he's nervous even as I'm going down on him, all of us laughing when I bungle the countdown. I got all of that, along with a chance to do their dishes (a fetish of mine), mind-blowing orgasms, and a night of feeling utterly beautiful, wanted, and wanton. As Metro-North whisked me back to Manhattan, I congratulated myself on trusting my instincts. I'm so glad I didn't hit the Delete key.