By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
Sit down, you're rocking DeBarge
But I got distracted again and leapt to my phone to ask drag favorite FLOTILLA DEBARGE about the notorious PETA ad she shot as dead-animal-licking-and-wearing STAR JONES, who's been all fuming about it. "This is an acting job. I am not a Star Jones impersonator," Flotilla clarified to me. "I don't do Star Jones." (No, that's her husband's duty, right?)
"She shouldn't be that upset," Flo continued. "Two male actorsKENAN THOMPSON and TRACY MORGANhave impersonated her on Saturday Night Live, and I'm much prettier than they are. She's thinking the public will confuse me with herthat they'll think I'm Star Jones and she's a drag queen. It's very insulting to me!" Flo's also hurt that the Post, in breaking this story, called her overweight. "I couldn't believe it," she said. "I'll get back at them!" Go on, phat actress!
Anyway, is Flo a fan of Star? (long pause). "I'll just say 'bogo.' It's Payless's acronym for 'buy one, get one half off.' That's the only thing of hers that I amI too shop at Payless, so why can't she go furless?"
She won'tbut how did they style Flo as the bogus, I mean bogo queen? "They went to the official Star and Al website and got a picture. The makeup artist, Bruce, shadowed the hell out of me to get my lovely couture face to be an oblong Moon Pie face that is known as Star Jones Reynolds." Is that a dis, Star? Absolutely, you asshole! (Kidding. I think it's time to start showing some compassion to the woman because . . . um, er . . . )
LGBT and Sympathy
King me: Kelly Lynch as Ivan
More seriously: "Gays have no right to murder each other!" screamed gay leaders in the press about the supposed new strain of AIDS. Well, just days later, reports said that women with HIV are having more unsafe sex than gay men with HIV, and that the rate of African Americans getting AIDS has doubled, while the white rate of infection stayed steady. So why aren't their leaders screaming murder? Can't those groups get the same attention, enlightenment, hysteria, and blame? Huh?