NY Mirror

What dead porn star did some little-known bestiality flicks late in her career? What zhlubby character actor actually thinks he's a walking love god whom all the ladies are panting for? Could he be right? What TV persona was touching himself at Equinox and generously let another guy do a sound check on his microphone, as it were? (By the way, it was reportedly "gorgeous of girth.") What famous wife, who has a career of her own, is still the kind of street demon who'll sprinkle remarks like "I'll cut her!" into casual conversation? What rail-thin British model was told by that fashion mag editrix, "You have to lose weight before you do this shoot!"?

What two young hunks (one a faded star of an Oscar-winning flick and the other a broken-up boyfriend) may well have commingled several years ago when they were both more famous? What lothario who did it with his darker co-star is supposedly doing it with her again? What departed talk show host confides to friends that, when that TV Land type was on her show, she could see a big coke booger lodged in the former starlet's nostril and was desperate to flick it off during the entire interview, but nicely resisted? Who's afraid of NAOMI WOLF? I am, George, I am.


Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters
Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters

LITTER BOX
Guadala-horror

The sight of the week was the exiting Little Women crowd of suburban ladies running into the circuit queens arriving for the Black Party next door at Roseland. I haven't seen so many butts tighten since broomstick night at the Anvil. Even less thrilled with the event (which was titled "Lucha Lubre: Rites XXVI"), community activist ANDRES DUQUE recently sent out a mass e-mail complaining that it cast around for fake-Mexican-accented performers to carry on in "an interactive prison drama at the Mexican Penile Colony." Duque also took offense at promoter DANIEL NARDICIO's Cockfight parties at Sixes and Eights, writing, "Promoted as an invitation to travel 'south of the border' to watch naked Mexican wrestlers in a celebration of 'lawlessness' . . . and offering 'fresh Tijuana ass' . . . the promotion just needs a couple of Speedy Gonzales's 'Andale, Andale!'s to complete the unabashed promotion of racism."

Nardicio tells me he's since dropped the wrestling angle because the Saint was doing it too, so now Cockfight is less intrinsically Mexican. Besides, he adds, "Everyone gets skewered in my world." In fact, he's parodied little people, Germans, and cowboys, and even promoted blackface comic SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR. Nardicio apologized to Duque, but added, "Mexican wrestling is pretty campy, so why not parody it?" Point taken? If so, let's all make up over some German midget tossing.


musto@villagevoice.com

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