NY Mirror

A fugue for the tasteless, the revival of Glengarry Glen Ross—a/k/a Seven Angry Men—is not for the Iowa crowd that's allergic to words like cunt and cocksucker. In the audience on opening night, STEVE MARTIN was cutting through the venomous mood by doling out Dots to strangers, but comically withholding the red ones. Damn. Something when it's forbidden, it's human nature that you really want to have it.

Finally, Juilliard seems to hand out some sweet lovin', then flat-out snooker it back. The esteemed school booked the drag performer SHEQUIDA to do a fake master class-recital last week as her other opera-related persona, JESSYE NORMOUS, but it canceled at the last minute because next year the real JESSYE NORMAN is doing an actual master class there. (A Juilliard rep didn't return a request for comment.) "I said, 'Are you serious? Do you people not have a sense of humor?' " Shequida/Normous told me. "I wanted to show that opera can be fun, that it's not all old stuffy people doing it." Well, they showed her otherwise. And she was even a student there! Oh, well, at least she's still in Star Wars.

Empress striking back: Bai Ling
photo: Playboy magazine
Empress striking back: Bai Ling


Cable host and celebrity interviewer SKIP E. LOWE just called me, irked as a wet hen about Martin Short's movie, Jiminy Glick in La La Wood. Glick is the plus-sized interviewer character that Short has done on Comedy Central and elsewhere, and now he's the large, gooey center of that medium-funny feature film. So what's the problem? "Everyone knows he's doing me," insisted Lowe, "and I'm not even geting paid. He never gives credit. He stole my persona!"

Well, The New York Times review did indeed say that Glick originated as a spoof of Lowe. But considering that Glick is ignorant, inept, and klutzy—if amusing and ultimately likable—it's weird that anyone would run around going "He's doing me!" Oh, well. Lowe is currently venting his frustrations by doing a documentary called Meet the Real Jiminy Glick.



Pay attention, class. As you know, CHERRY JONES is giving one of those performances for the ages as the quizzical Sister Aloysius in Doubt. Well, at last week's Drama Desk nominees' reception, Cherry told me how she came up with the coiled, pursed, jack-in-the-box stance she uses for the role. "I wondered why Aloysius hadn't had kids with her husband," explained Cherry. Drawing a little bit on her own grandmother, she decided that Aloysius once had a hysterectomy and as a result, got advanced osteoporosis (if not pregnant in her navel). But wait a minute—a nun who was married? The only non-lesbian sister act? "That could be," said Cherry, "but she's worldly, so she at least recognizes them when she sees them!"

Moving on to hysterec-ord news, I know a good pop career move when I see one—like "Incomplete," the BACKSTREET BOYS' comeback single (and video). It shrewdly emphasizes the two members with "edge"—the tattooed rehabber and Paris's unruly old boyfriend—and puts the three bland ones so far in the background they're practically in *NSYNC. Incomplete indeed!

Let me complete you with this imagined bit of conversation from the set of Monster-in-Law. J.LO: "I hate my ex!" MICHAEL VARTAN: "I hate mine too! She left me! For your ex!" M.M.


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