Erotic Etiquette

Advice for socially challenged pervs, or, how to get laid at a sex event

Be specific. Queries like "I watched the bondage scene you did with that tall guy, and it was really hot. Would you like to tie me up?" or "Wanna fuck?"—after proper introduction and the exchange of niceties, of course—are not out of line when delivered with honesty and sincerity. The worst someone could say is no. No feels crappy, but don't take it personally. You've got to keep asking until the answer is yes.

Know what you want. If someone says, "Yes, I'd love to play with you!" don't get stalled at that point by not knowing your next move. Think in advance about what you want and what you don't, plus what you're curious about and might like to try. Clearly communicate your limits and boundaries (no unsafe sex, no hair pulling, whatever).

Have reasonable expectations. Too often people come to erotic events and think they are going to meet a drop-dead gorgeous prince or princess and do it doggy style with them within minutes. Scale down the fantasies and be real.

Confidence is sexy. If you believe you're hot and sexy and worth a second look, you'll project that, and people will believe it too.

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