By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Then the softer-pitched Morris told witty stories lampooning the quest for fabulousness, as well as the poignance inherent in attempted escapes therefrom. He interwove the tales with spoofy songslike "You're a Loser From Islip" (to the tune of "Native New Yorker") and "Walking in a Walker Wonderland"that drew knowing giggles from the tony crowd. I might have to start up my Motown band again so he won't be the only multitasking journo with a two-drink minimum.
But back to the straights. At the premiere of the well-baked vengeance tale Four Brothers, director JOHN SINGLETON praised star MARK WAHLBERG as "a man's man. He doesn't take no shit off nobody." And that's exactly why I always stand at least six blocks behind him. At the after-party at Aer Lounge, Singleton told me that audiences normally go wild over Wahlberg's climactic appearance on the ice. "Tonight was a premiere," he said. "You gotta see it with a real audience." I will, if I can find onebut anyway, why does Wahlberg call his little brother a fairy all the time (in the movie, that is)? "To bust his chops, like everyone does with a younger brother," said Singleton. "You got a brother?" "No," I said, "but everyone called me a fairy anyway because I am one." He laughed, then wisely wrapped up the interview.
Imagine there's no audience
Bisexuality gets short shrift in Lennon, which is a surfacey if seemingly heartfelt telling of the late Beatle's life, using his songs to take him from birth to stardom to Yoko to drug bust to Hallmark card. The first act is breezy enough, with the game cast trading off on roles and the great CHUCK COOPER letting it rip on "Instant Karma." At this point, I could have been convinced that Lennon was nowhere near a lemon. But when the actors ran into the audience to hand out flowers, I smelled desperation, and in Act Two, things got duller than SUZANNE SOMERS, prompting my now familiar narrated-biographical-show cry of "Who cares?" That wasn't the only unscripted utterance. When Yoko first met Lennon and he told the audience, "She had no idea who I was," someone near me muttered, "Yeah, right!" I almost did a Fergie.
Gays on the roof
Marrying out: Alison Walla and Rosie O'Donnell
photo: Bill Sumner
In other gay-straight news, MELISSA DE LA CRUZ (The Au Pairs) and TOM DOLBY (The Trouble Boy) are editing an anthology of essays about the friendships between straight women and gay men. It's been described as a literary Will & Grace. A much better idea than a literary Stacked.
But back to just gays: The hot new go-go boy on Sundays at the Park is a spiky-haired skinny guy with a wonderfully dirty edge. I asked his name and he simply bumped his crotch into my face. Works for me. Over at the Maritimewhere Amanda Lepore was making out with her new 19-year-old boyfriend and wags were saying OK! offered Fergie a trip in exchange for a photo sessioneveryone eyeballed a scorching shirtless waiter named Alex, even as he kept exclaiming "I like girls!" Doesn't work for me.
As you know, a battle royale started recently when composer MICHAEL JOHN LACHIUSA dissed Hairspray, and that show's tunesmith, MARC SHAIMAN, fought back like a gay pit bull. Well, this is clearly a trend! Few seem to remember that back in 03, FRED EBB, of KANDER AND EBB fame, trashed Hairspray in an interviewjealous much?and that started a mini contretemps of its own when Shaiman shot back in a Broadway website opinion piece (though he quickly had the anti-Ebb graph taken down). I worship ALL these people, but the next person who says Hairspray isn't a well-made gem will be clubbed over the noggin with eight Tony awards.