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'Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo'
James Crawford
Tuesday, August 9th 2005
Using his newfound clout, executive producer Adam Sandler muscled to completion Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, a turd so redolent that not even the first Bigalow director would touch it. The eponymous prosti-dude (Rob Schneider) finds himself in Amsterdam trying to clear his pimp friend (Eddie Griffin) of the "man whore murders," in which Europe's greatest male prostitutes are being killed off one by one. While tracking down the real he-bitch killer, Deuce once again escorts a gallery of grotesque and lonely women, including an esophageal-cancer-surgery patient spewing cigarette smoke and red wine through her throat hole, and a woman born with a penis in place of a nose—who, when she sneezes, shoots projectile jizz across the room. The rest of the movie consists of Schneider and Griffin running through standard gay jokes, belittling Asian penis size, and compiling a weakly humorous list of unexplained sexual maneuvers (Turkish snow cone, sneaky Cuban, Chilean rainbow, etc.). European Gigolo's biggest sins, however, are in not coming up with novel variations on stock fratboy comedy (à la Wedding Crashers), or proffering any redeeming sweetness like the Farrelly bothers do. It's an unimaginative, mean-spirited gross-out that forgot to bring the funny.
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