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NYC Life
NY Mirror
Salt FurnitureWe're all dumb in certain ways. I'm sure he's talented in manyToni SchlesingerTuesday, September 20th 2005Location Upper West Side This building is not as luxurious as I thought it would be. The vent in the elevator is coughing. No one is at the desk.[Silvia] When we moved in, it looked like a frat house, broken tiles. [Evan] Asphalt roof. Our first question was, How strange is this? [Silvia] The owner lives in Israel. [Evan] He comes once a month. At first I thought you lived in the Milburn Hotel nearby.[Silvia] There's a nudist colony on top. Are they all always nude?[ Evan] They're regularly partially nude. [Silvia] Maybe we just notice them when they're nude. Except for the guy writing in a white T-shirt and glasses. He might be nude from the waist down. [ Evan] We get watched just like they do. [Silvia] We spent a lot more time out here last year, before the wedding thing. Weren't you just married in a castle in Spain?Yes, in my mother's village. I heard there's a salt mine.It's been mined since Roman times. You mentioned that you're going to be designing furniture out of salt?[ Evan] We're researching the material. People will want to lick the chairs.Well, who knows. Where are you from, Silvia?[ Silvia] I was educated here. Summers and Christmas, we went to Spain. I grew up on East 75th. I was born in Minnesota. My father's a heart specialist at the Mayo Clinic. We spoke Catalan at home. It's very international in Minnesota. [ Evan] I'm from Aurora, New York. Wells College is there. [Silvia] We met our junior years abroad. Columbia architecture school has a New YorkParis program. [ Evan] We lived with a group of friends on a houseboat. [Silvia] It wasn't like a yacht. [ Evan] It was like a big thumb. [ Silvia] With Astroturf. Mr. Fioleau, the landlord, came and took us for a ride. [ Evan] He took our apartment underneath the Boulevard Richard Lenoir. What is that container?[ Silvia] An ashtray made of Bazooka gum wrappers in Hebrew. It's full of olive pits. . . . [ We discuss the dog.] We moved into this apartment before we had the dog. [Evan] Our friend Rufus found him wandering around the streets of New Jersey. He gained 40 pounds since we got him. [Silvia] People were feeding him through cracks in car windows like they were on safari. His head is so big.He's not super-smart. If he were that big and smart, it would be a problem. His butt is couch height. My parents' building . . . [Evan] . . . has a 25-pound limit. When he opens his mouth, there's a whole world in there. He's so wanting. There's something restful about him.[Silvia] It's very relaxing. You can learn from dumbness. I think mostly he's dumb but not self-conscious. [Evan] He's dumb but secure. [Silvia] We're all dumb in certain ways. I'm sure he's talented in many ways. Now your wedding . . .It lasted four days. [Evan] I got food poisoning on the plane on the way back. [Silvia] He spent the whole time in the bathroom. [Evan] I threw up on the snack table. When we came back to the apartment, all the trees had died, all the books had fallen. You're holding up a jagged fragment of wood.It's a piece of the coffee table. Basically there were four shelves, 40 feet, of architecture books that fell on the floor. The inside wall was destroyed. [Silvia] The plants outside were all destroyed. It was so hot while we were gone. Climatically it was 100 degrees. There was so much heat on this box. [Evan] We thought the walls got so hot and holes expanded and I think the plastic anchors got soft. [Silvia] We're at the point where the terrace looks better at night. Recent ArticlesMore by Toni Schlesinger
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