I, Doofus: The History Men Who Changed Rome

I initially dismissed Rome as an I, Claudiuswannabe, but it quickly sucked me in with its combo of extravagant soap and painstakingly intricate political drama. Like Deadwood, Rome prides itself on scrupulous realism: the obscene graffiti, gruesome temple sacrifices, graphic sexual experimentation, and quirky cuisine. (Anyone for grilled savory mouse?) You can practically smell the stink of ancient Rome, a city of vice and venality, snobbery and class warfare.

Soldiers of Fortuna: Stevenson and McKidd

photo: Franco Biciocchi

Details

Rome
Sundays at 9 on HBO

Related Content

• Porsena's Monday Night Abruzzi Menu
  February 18, 2013
• The Raunchy Fiesta Called The Black Party Is Coming Again
  February 14, 2013
• Author Rachel Kushner Loves Motorcycles and Flamethrowers
  April 24, 2013
• Three Good Things: Rome, Pok Pok, Ice Cream
  June 18, 2012
• Can't Decide Between Pizza and a Burger? Now You Don't Have To!
  August 15, 2012

More About

• Rome (Italy)
• Titus Pullo
• Lucius Vorenus
• Ray Stevenson
• Kevin McKidd

Amid all this realism lurks a streak of extreme implausibility, though. Nearly every major plotline is nudged forward by two army buddies, Lucius Vorenus (Kevin McKidd) and Titus Pullo (Ray Stevenson). Vorenus is a puritanical but honorable soldier's soldier, while Pullo is a lunkhead who acts on his instincts. They have a knack for being at the right place at the right time and doing the wrong thing—actions that have vast historical repercussions. First the duo recovers Caesar's gold standard, which restores the troops' shaken morale and prepares them for their march on Rome. Caesar intends to install himself as a benign despot, without bloodshed. But then Pullo accidentally sets off a battle in the city square, ensuring civil war. (The episode title: "How Titus Pullo Brought Down the Republic.") And again he turns the tide by stumbling on a roadside cart laden with gold stolen from Rome's treasury. He and Vorenus turn it over to Caesar, shifting things decisively in the would-be emperor's favor. The coincidences go on and on, until these guys resemble a team of ancient Zeligs. Cleopatra even chooses them to sire her baby, which she passes off as Caesar's.

It's become a party game in my house, spotting how and when these bumbling history men will strike again. It seems to have occurred to the writers too, because later episodes self-referentially comment on the men's luck. At one point Caesar decides not to punish them for some terrible misstep, explaining, "They have powerful gods behind them." Yeah, they're called scriptwriters.