'Yours, Mine & Ours'

After counseling one son from beyond the grave and rescuing another from a new Ice Age, Dennis Quaid should have nothing left to prove in the cinematic parenting department. Yet here he is in a remake of Yours, Mine & Ours, in charge of a massive menagerie that's constantly bursting into an orgy of screaming, retching, and oinking (a pig does most of the oinking). Quaid gamely thrusts his face into countless tubs of colorful viscous liquid—thank you, co- producers at Nickelodeon Movies!—but has little else to do in this shrill family comedy. He plays a Coast Guard admiral and widower, whose eight kids go a long way toward explaining his wife's mysterious death. Rene Russo is his forgotten high school sweetheart, an artsy type with 10 brats of her own. They reunite and elope, but their differing opinions about discipline upset the kids, who try to trick the lovebirds into breaking up. To his credit, Quaid looks too smart to be fooled by such blatantly Parent Trap–ian machinations, particularly because he's already appeared in the remake of that.