And Now, the Fake News From Iraq

Our top 10 suggested headlines for the Pentagon's new, new journalism

So the Pentagon has been planting news stories in Iraq, eh? Yesterday, the New York Times reported that one of the headlines straight from the brass reads: "The Sands Are Blowing Toward a Democratic Iraq."

We think the long arm of the American Empire can do better than that. To wit, we submit the following:

1. Longtime Residents Applaud US Marine-Led Urban Renewal Project in Falluja; "Thank Allah They Got Rid of A Bad Element and Worse Architecture,"  Says Woman on Street  

2. 25-30% of Iraqi Workforce Enjoys Extended and Well-Earned "Post-Saddam Holiday"  

3. Baghdad Among Top World Cities for Electricity Conservation  

4. US Department of Education-sponsored Media Training Program "Honored and Enlightened" by Visit From Distinguished American Journalists Armstrong Williams and Judith Miller  

5. New Ministry of Interior Torturers Far Cry From Saddam Era; Only "Some Skin" Peeled Off Now, Say Victims  

6. Dangerous Italian Driving Habits Prompt Stern Traffic Enforcement in Baghdad  

7. All-American MPs Bring Cheerleading to Abu Ghraib; "They really love to do the pyramid," say Coaches Graner and England  

8. Islamist Terrorist Defects, Renounces Allegiance to "Osama bin Loony"  

9. Ahmed Chalabi: The Best Man Ever  

10. Mission Accomplished  

 
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