By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
Leigh Lezark, Misshapes. To convince Greg K that he is not a teenage girl and that being a skeletwin is not the new black.
Jason Baron, owner Dark Room. My '05 resolutions were to be nicer to people and no more random girls. In '06: To be meaner to people and more random girls.
Tommie Sunshine. To write a song for every Hollywood starlet and inevitably sleep with them. Ms. Lohan, Daddy is waitin' for 'ya.
Mylo. To quit music and write a violent and pretentious novel.
Ultragrrrl. I think this year's resolution should be something I know I can do. So I resolve to sell a million records on my new label, Stolen Transmission.
Morgan Geist, Metro Area. Last year I said I'd do my first solo album in 8 years, and no, I didn't keep it. I'm trying a reverse psychology resolution this time: "I shall not finish a solo album this year."
Paul Oakenfold. I did achieve my '05 resolution, which was to finish my album. I've done it with two weeks left to spare!
Michael T, Motherfucker. To get RAPED on my BIRTHDAY!
Fancy, Fannypack. To work on my anagrams. A "resolutions" anagram story: "Oo slut siren", resolutions, those things we make after "noel rots us. I" hear them as we "sit on our l.e.s." and the "urine stools" waft up "our nose slit. Our "lies on tour" that we make as our "souls tire on" "our snot isle. But, it is the fortunes of change that "set our loins" afire like some "olsen suitor. It is promise and possibility that "loiter on us" like a garment that we hope is "no loser suit. So let us this year make "ire lost on us" and have "no, I lose ruts. Let us reform, remake, replace, resolve, revolutionize, and have our resolutions be not "one sour list.