Urban Resolutions

New Yorkers revisit last year's promises and share hopes for 2006

Resolutions for 2006: To excel at sports.

Juelz Santana

Naked Cowboy
illustration: Ryan Sanchez
Naked Cowboy

This terse Harlem rapper waged what seemed at times like a one-man war to keep New York on hip-hop's map: a wildly successful three-part mixtape series called Back Like Cooked Crack, countless guest appearances, and the release of his second solo LP, What the Game's Been Missing! Santana is the vice president of Diplomat Records.

Your resolutions for 2005: Work hard.

Did you follow them? Yep!

Results? My album What the Game's Been Missing! was certified gold in three weeks.

Resolutions for 2006: Take my album to the next level and go platinum.

Andy Samberg

The "'Chronicles of Narnia' Rap" sketch he starred in has some people thinking Samberg will save not only Saturday Night Live but music itself.

Your resolutions for 2005: My first resolution was to jump the Grand Canyon on a motorcycle while ripping a solo on an electric guitar and having sex with stuff. My second resolution was to try to stop rocking so hard.

Did you follow them? I followed the first one, but that kinda made the second one impossible. I mean, ripping a solo while doing it with things and jumping the Grand C? That's pretty much rocking it as hard as it can be rocked. In retrospect it was unrealistic to hope to do both. Poor planning.

Results? I'm a total mess about it. It's raised all kinds of issues about what kind of person I want to be and whether or not it's going to be possible for me to stop rocking the shiz out of everything at some point. I hope for both my and the world's sake that I can, but at the same time I also kinda don't, because someone needs to be out there rockin' shiz. If I'm so capable it almost seems like it's my duty at a certain point to make sure the shiz is getting rocked super-hard.

Resolutions for 2006: Drink less.

Emmanuel Lewis

After nearly three days of standing on the picket line during the transit strike, this veteran train conductor is glad to be back at work. But Lewis is still angry about the way the transit workers' cause was characterized by mainstream media, and that feeling follows him into 2006.

Your resolutions for 2005: To get all my finances in order.

Did you follow them? I was successful.

Results? I have some money in the bank in case of emergencies. I got disability insurance and building insurance for my co-op in Brooklyn.

Resolutions for 2006: I resolve to expose the New York Post by writing letters to the editor, because the Post was very slanted in how it talked about transit workers. It is often biased against poor people, black people. Everything I stand for, the Post is against.

Sean Boyland

This highly respected East Village blogger first attracted media attention when he proved his arms could revolve an inhuman 360 degrees, and then he blogged about the experience.

Your resolutions for 2005: I was feeling pretty content last year at this time, so I decided to just generally improve myself.

Did you follow them? I learned how to cook steak, and I watched five French movies.

Results? I learned how to cook steak.

Resolutions for 2006: Become physically strong.

Isaac Mizrahi
illustration: By Ryan Sanchez
Lady Bunny

The glamorous Bunny is best known as the founder, hostess, and organizer of Wigstock. She also tours the world as a singer and comedienne, and has made cameo appearances on Sex and the City, in Party Girl, and elsewhere.

Your resolutions for 2005: To lose weight.

Did you follow them? Actually, I ate more and exercised less.

Results? I got fatter.

Resolutions for 2006: Either develop a healthier image of my ampler figure or commit suicide.

Scott Mou

Guiding the tastes of New York's music obsessives, Mou is a store manager at Other Music. He also performs electronic music with Animal Collective's Panda Bear under the name Jane.

Your resolutions for 2005: To travel more— go to Europe at least once to play music.

Did you follow them? It happened, so I'm glad.

Results? I got to go to Portugal to do two shows. We did two Jane shows, one at ZDB and one at this club called Lux. It was great. We did some recordings while we were there too. They haven't come out yet, but some of what we did in Lisbon I might put into the Rvng mix that's coming out.

Resolutions for 2006: One of them is to do more traveling with Jane and with [my solo project] Queens—I'm going down to Texas for that. I'm also recording some stuff with Koen. No, not the band Keane; Koen [Holtkamp] from Mountains.

Michael Showalter

We know him from Comedy Central's Stella and MTV's The State. He's a comedian, producer, and actor who starred in his directorial debut last year—the romantic comedy The Baxter.

Your resolutions for 2005: No more Texas hold 'em. No more chocolate chip cookies. To have spirituality.

Did you follow them? Sort of; I've never been a very good New Year's resolution person. I'm more of a Fourth of July resolutions person. I tend to make my resolutions in the summer. It only takes me seven months to get sick of my bad habits.

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