By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
Of course, when the hallmark of a top-notch ripster is that his ripster status can't be detect-ed, there is no shortage of danger. This explains why ripsters stay away from the weight machines and stick to the cardiothe mere appearance of muscle would discredit their ripster status. But more frighteningly, at every gym in America there is at least one man or womanthe personal trainer, or reverse ripsterwho threatens to turn ripsters into gym monkeys when all ripsters want to be are gym rats. I saw it happen once:
"You're not getting every-thing out of your workout."
"Thanks, but I'm fine."
"Listen, I'll give you a Level 4 workout at a Level 3 price."
"I don't know what that means."
"Five dollarslet me pull your legs behind your head."
I was there
I'm up at the St. Marks Kmart with a few friends from high school. They've heard about my new beat, and want to get in on the ripster game before it's too late. It may be too lateseasonally.
These days, in these Kmarts, it's really tough to find gym clothes that aren't too athletic (like running shorts) but aren't too impractical either (like a pair of cutoff chinos). Bottom lineripster lineis that it's not worth not working out unless you're dressed like you're not dressed. Winter slacks rule the men's racks; no shorts are in sight.
Granted, we haven't checked the boyswear section yet. Some of the pants for the shorter, fatter childrenthose might work out.
Nick Sylvester sometimes calls the South Beach Diet the "South Bitch Diet."