By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
Oh, one more thing: Says Hoffler, "In the last two years, Gates was actually mentioned as the correspondent in a divorce case in which a husband accused his wife of having an affair with Gates. I don't know how that case resolved."
The invite said "Paper and Mac celebrate ZAC POSEN at Village restaurant," so I went and dove into the pear crumble and special guest BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD, who was unspoiled and fun. Was she only there because she starred in The Village? "Yes," she played along, "I only go to restaurants named Village." (16-month-old spoiler alert: It's set in the present!) Of course she would also go to any restaurant named Manderlay; that's the title of the new LARS VON TRIER weirdie with Bryce as Dogville's Nicole Kidman character, this time stumbling upon slavery in the '30s. "It's an interesting film," she told me, wide-eyed. "Interesting is the operative word."
ANOTHER WEB EXCLUSIVE:
Golden Globes rundown:
8:20 SANDRA OH wins because she was dumped by ALEXANDER PAYNE (her own Sideways snub). She gives a crazy, hyperventilating, stuttery, giggly, overly grateful speech. No wonder he dumped her!
8:26 DREW BARRYMORE's pendulous green boobs will forever haunt my memory. Globes indeed.
8:31 The female President wins. HILLARY CLINTON must be secretly orgasming somewhere.
8:59 The clip of and all the talk about The Constant Gardener studiously avoid mentioning the fact that it's about, you know, AIDS. Don't want to scare potential DVD customers.
9:50 It's MEL BROOKS against ALANIS MORISSETTE for Best Song. Someone else wins.
10:20 JOAQUIN PHOENIX looks really fresh and rested and healthy, especially around the eyes and teeth. Kidding.
10:30 JANE SEYMOUR is sobbing hysterically, for I forget what reason, as the camera closes in on her. Dr. Quinn, PHONY woman! Meanwhile, RYAN PHILLIPPE is being cute and playful and trying every which way not to be the next CHAD LOWE. I give them two months.
10:40 DENNIS QUAID, talking about the gay cowboy epic, says the immortal sentence, "It rhymes with chick flick." The crowd is dumbfounded. The crass, vulgar, drunk, mercenary Golden Globes crowd is offended by a remark? Nah, they just didn't get it.