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Ogling breasts isn't just for straight men and lesbians anymore. Moving beyond traditional labels, gay men and straight women are outing themselves as "boobiesexuals." The term was coined by podcaster Cunning Minx (polyweekly.libsyn.com) to stand for "women who are mostly straight but who are really, really into women's breasts." I've expanded it to include gay men. This new breed is committed to their sexual orientation, but acknowledges that, like the horniest of frat boys or Hooters customers, they're turned on by tits.
Matthew, a graphic artist, describes himself as a "gay tit man." He explains, "Despite always knowing that my only sexual attraction is to men, I can remember having an appreciation, or downright fetish, for women's breasts my entire life." What does this all mean? Some would posit that breasts are so ubiquitous, people from across the sexual spectrum are bound to want to touch thema consumerist notion of sexuality. But I think it's deeper, because it doesn't automatically make sense that gay men or straight women would want to touch, feel, and ogle women's boobs. Breasts may remind us of being babies needing food, represent contrast to the firmness of cocks, or just draw the eye when presented as if on a platter. Boob worship isn't universal, though; some people, even straight guys and dykes, prefer other body parts.
Who better to consult about breast love than the World FamousBOB(worldfamousbob.com), who was awarded "Best Tits" by the Voicein 2002? She sports 34DD boobs, down from an F cup after recent weight loss. The renowned burlesque performer sprouted her massive bosoms at the age of eight. Eight! Since then, she's gained fame using her breasts to make martinis onstage, which landed her on A&E's History of Cleavage. She learned early on where her power lay. "I wasn't always comfortable with my figure but I always thought that my breasts were my visual strengths," saysBOB*.
Boobiesexuals mess with our strictly defined norms. What does it mean to be aroused by a woman, or at least her tits, but not want to have sex with her? They counter our very simplistic ideas about lustif you're into me, you must want to fuck mewhen true desire is more complex. Minx, who's in an open relationship, believes that kinky and polyamorous people are open to nuanced views of eroticism. "Sexual labels are convenient; it's much easier to say, 'I'm bisexual' than to say, 'I'm mostly straight and really into cocks, but I've been with a woman once or twice and can take or leave it, except for the breasts, which I grope at every opportunity . . . and it's entirely possible that I simply haven't met the right woman,' " she explains.
Matthew's thought about breasts enough to have likes and dislikes. "I'm definitely into big, preferably natural, titties. I'm very attracted to powerful women with large breasts, who know what they have and love to show them off," he tells me. "A nice pair in a corset or push-up bra is extremely hot. I also love watching a woman squeeze them together, or lift and adjust them." Lucky for him, we both recently attended a vintage lingerie party called Hot and Nasty, where almost every girl was sporting a bust-baring garmentit was nonstop tits on parade.
According toBOB*, "Gay men are drawn to extreme forms of femininitythe whole blonde-bombshell, big-boobs, small-waist look. That stereotype is very attractive to them, as it is to me." She says it's usually not erotic per se, but isn't surprised when boobs are a turn-on for fags"just because you don't like the main course doesn't mean you wouldn't enjoy a side dish." Her favorite thing about performing for queer crowds? "I feel at home when I'm in a room full of people who know what it's like to not fit in. I'm 5'11" with 34DDswhen I see other people who don't fit the mold, I know it's gonna be a good time."
Women have complicated relationships with their breasts. We like them, but we'd also like them to be bigger or smaller, more symmetrical, perkier. One of my best friends invariably sports breasts that look like they're going to attack you (she claims it's her bra), while others do all they can to hide them. Breasts are so fetishized, we're bound to be confused, liking the attention they garner but wanting to be known for more than our cup size.
Appreciating a woman's breasts isn't always simple either. Boobiesexuals' tit- illation strikes me as qualitatively different from straight men's. They may all appreciate a site like breastlove.blogspot.com, but straight men often seem helpless at the sight of a woman's well-developed tatas (not that there's anything wrong with that). Boobiesexuals don't need breasts for sexual satisfaction in the same way. It's an added bonus, an extra set of jugs on top of whatever they're already juggling.
Minx is matter-of-fact about her boob lust, as if it's the standard rather than the deviation. "What's not to love? They're soft, squishy, and comforting. I did a fabulous scene in which a friend caned my ass while I lay on top of his half-clothed wife. I could muffle my screams into her voluptuous cleavage. Her breasts were the perfect gag," she proclaims. "One of my favorite things to do is to rub my own breasts against another woman's, especially if hers are larger and natural."
My straight friend "Amy" knows exactly what Minx is talking about. She told me exuberantly, "I love boobs. If I were a guy I would be completely obsessedI would try to touch and play with them as much as possible. I love playing with guys' nipples because they're the next closest thing. You could call me a closet boob whore."
Some breast lovers feel bigger is better, but I'd like to think that boobiesexuals have a more inclusive relationship to breasts. They're not just pinching our nipples to get us turned on during foreplay or asking us to get implants; many genuinely appreciate our chests in all their variety.BOBexplains why breasts are beautiful: "It's absolutely not the physical characteristics. What makes a great pair of breasts is the person carrying them. You can buy a great pair, but you can't buy personality, charisma, or a sense of humorthe three sexiest things any man or woman with a pair of breasts can have."
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