By Albert Samaha
By Darwin BondGraham
By Keegan Hamilton
By Anna Merlan
By Anna Merlan
By Tessa Stuart
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
ARIES(March 21April 19): Let's put your salary in perspective. If you earn more than $2,182 per year, you're wealthier than 85 percent of the world's population. That's according to globalrichlist.com. Even though you're pretty well-off, however, I'm going to dare you to ask for more. It's the perfect astrological phase to do so. The omens suggest that you will attract benefactors and drum up cosmic support if you make even a half-assed attempt to get richer quicker. Homework: Write down three things you could do to raise your income.
TAURUS(April 20May 20): Recently I had minor eye surgery to close some tiny holes in my retina. It wasn't a big dealjust a preventive measureand it didn't have any effect on my actual physical vision. The best part of the experience happened because of the nurse who prepped me for the procedure. She used a felt-tip pen to write "YES" over my right eyebrow, ensuring that the surgeon wouldn't aim the laser into the wrong eye. I didn't wash off the "YES" until 24 hours after the operation and was pleased at the unexpected effect it had. I found myself using my eyes more aggressivelywith a greater hunger to study my surroundings. It was as if the written "YES" had given me a subliminal suggestion to switch on a figurative "YES" in my perceptual apparatus. Now I'm recommending this trick to you, Taurus. It's a perfect astrological moment to perk up your seeing. I dare you to write "YES" over both of your eyebrows.
GEMINI(May 21June 20): On some days you work on creating your tapestry, weaving each thread with care and artistry. On other days you inexplicably unravel the same tapestry, undoing your fine efforts. Is there some hidden purpose in this maddening rhythma strategy I can't fathom? Or is it fueled by a half-conscious compulsion you feel helpless to resist? Please get clear, Gemini, about what's motivating you to take two steps forward, then two steps backward. I'd like to see you go at least threesteps forward, two steps backward.
CANCER(June 21July 22): "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all," said author Elbert Hubbard. I don't know if I would go quite that far, but I do like the notion that the best ideas are disruptive to the status quo. Your mission in the coming weeks, Cancerian, is to flirt with and even embrace ideas like thatrevolutionary perspectives that tend to undermine the way things have always been done and usher in fresh approaches to living the good life. For inspiration, you might want to check out the World Question Center (snipurl.com/lpik), which is collecting answers to the question "What is your dangerous idea?"
LEO(July 23Aug. 22): In the pagan calendar, the coming week brings Beltane, one of the major holidays of the year. Halfway between the spring equinox and the summer solstice, it marks a time of teeming fertility, when the life forces of the natural world are in full bloom, in our bodies as much as in plants and animals. At Beltane, many of us have access to more creativity than usual. Our vitality may be at a peak and our libidos fully unfurled. The effect is enhanced for you Leos by the fact that you're in the confidence-building phase of your personal cycle. As a result, you now have an excellent opportunity to get into the zone, where you can wield power with a playful spirit that's nourishing to everyone whose life you touch.
VIRGO(Aug. 23Sept. 22): Bird-watchers in North Dakota are reporting a host of unusual sightings. A mountain plover has been spotted for the first time since the 1930s. The cormorant-like anhinga, which is native to swamps in southern climates, has also made an appearance. So has the Eurasian wigeon, a noisy duck that is rarely found outside of Europe and Asia. In addition, there have been visits by five other species that are unknown in the area. What's going on? Another by-product of global warming and the weird effects it's generating? Maybe. Whatever it is, Virgo, a metaphorically similar experience will soon occur in your sphere. You'll be mingling with life forms and natural phenomena that you've never come in contact with up until now.
LIBRA(Sept. 23Oct. 22): Will the truth set you free? Maybe, but first it will set you on fire, metaphorically speaking. Once you have been completely consumed by the flames and been reborn out of the ashes like the mythical phoenix, thenyou might be able to figure out how to use the truth to set yourself freeand to set others free as well. As long as you're armed with the knowledge in this horoscope, Libra, the process won't hurt as much as you might imagine. In fact, the predominant sensation may be exultation. Here's some homework to get you started: Write your three top fears on a piece of paper and burn it.
SCORPIO(Oct. 23Nov. 21): The sun and Mercury are lighting up your astrological House of Relationships. Uranus, the planet of awakening, is animating your House of Creativity and is in a sweetly harmonious aspect with the expansive planet Jupiter, which is invigorating your House of Beginnings. What does it all mean? You have a fantastic opportunity to experiment with the ways you conduct your intimate alliances. I suggest that you have major fun as you introduce previously undreamed-of innovations into your three best bonds.
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22Dec. 21): "The biggest problem in the world could have been solved when it was small," said the Chinese philosopher Lao- tzu. Let this advice serve as an early warning, Sagittarius. Unless you pounce immediately, a simple little glitch will eventually turn into a huge, nightmarish puzzle. Luckily, you now have all the resources you need to dispatch the annoyance with relative grace and ease.
CAPRICORN(Dec. 22Jan. 19): Here are your magic words for the coming week: spree, frolic, whoopee , carouse, escapade, fiesta , and siesta. Invoke them often as you act out their meanings. And if your research into the altered states they stir up results in complaints from people who'd prefer you to act like a predictable machine, I've written the following excuse note for you to give them: Please forgive Capricorns for departing from their routine behavior, including but not limited to disobeying orders, defying fate, sticking out their tongues, belly-laughing at odd moments, and dancing backwards on the tombstones of evildoers. They are currently under the influence of astrological factors that tend to dissolve inhibitions and awaken dormant joy.
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20Feb. 18): It's Return to the Source Week for you, Aquariusalso known as Listen to Your Wild Heart Week and Honor Your Core Truths Week and Focus on the Juicy Gist Week. The best way to celebrate this priority-sharpening, attention-honing time is to get twice as serious about feeding the one dream that's more important to you than all others. Now study the counsel of Malidoma Somé, as expressed in his book Of Water and the Spirit: "No one's center is like anyone else's. Find your own center, not the center of your neighbor, not the center of your father or mother or family or ancestor, but the center that is yours and yours alone."
PISCES(Feb. 19March 20): For six and a half months in 1881, James Garfield was president of the United States. More impressive than his modest accomplishments during his short time in office was his multilingual ambidexterity. He could write a passage in Latin with one hand even as he wrote in Greek with the other hand. That kind of skill reminds me of the aptitudes you will have in the coming weeks, Pisces. If you so choose, you'll be able to take multitasking to profound new levels. Juggling will be your ruling metaphor. You may even be able to make a beautiful mess with one hand while creating a dynamic peace with the other.
Homework What famous historical personage were you in your past life? If you don't know or weren't really, make something up. Testify at freewillastrology.com.