By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22Dec. 21): Hybrid cars get great gas mileage and don't spew dirty emissions into the air. They also produce minimal noise pollution. In fact, some are so silent that they can be hazardous to pedestrians and bicyclists. While riding my bike today, for instance, I didn't hear the Toyota Prius that was bearing down on me from behind, and I almost swerved right into its path. Let this serve you as an illustration of the law of unintended consequences. You should watch for unexpected changes caused by the healthy improvements you've made in your life. I'm not saying the changes will necessarily be bad, just that you should be alert for results you didn't foresee.
CAPRICORN(Dec. 22Jan. 19): Cuban tyrant Fidel Castro is so afraid of exotic assassination attempts that he has his aides burn his underwear after just one use. He apparently imagines that some dissident will find a way to saturate his unmentionables with poison during the laundering process. You're currently in no danger of having your briefs rendered toxic, Capricorn, but I nevertheless suggest that like Castro you incinerate each fresh pair when you're done wearing themat least for the next few days. It will be a lyrically symbolic statement that you are ready to transform the way you express your sexual energy, and that will be in perfect alignment with the invitation the cosmos is offering you.
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20Feb. 18): In high school I got all A's in science and math and scored in the top 1 percentile on the math section of the SATs. I've studied calculus, used logarithms, and love biology and astronomy. Still, I'm not aligned with the growing chorus of political leaders, corporate executives, and scientists who want schools to teach more math and science. Less would be better, I think, so as to make more room for truly neglected subjects like mastering human relationships, cultivating emotional intelligence, developing discrimination about the media, questioning authority, interpreting dreams, and understanding how to take care of one's body. Since few of us are taught these basic subjects when we're young, we lag way behind well into adulthood. That's the bad news, Aquarius. The good news is that it's a perfect time for you to do some rapid catching up.
PISCES(Feb. 19March 20): A California company specializing in background checks recently reported that 40 percent of all job résumés contain misinformation. Meanwhile, a study in the Journal of Basic and Applied Social Psychology found that most people tell lies every day. You and I aren't surprised. We know that deception is a normal part of life. I hope, however, that you'll rebel against that convention in the coming week. It's the High Integrity Season for youa time to be scrupulously honest and impeccable in your execution of every detail. I urge you to regard this demanding assignment as an opportunity to give gifts everywhere you go.