Down With the Count

Sex is not a numbers game; stop notching your bedposts!

I'm fixated on the future, not the past—my next lover, not my last. I wish my number were smaller, if only to have spared myself some recent heartache, like the seemingly "nice Jewish guy" who got "freaked out" by our first-date sex, but all I can do is move forward and try not to make the same mistake again. As Bosnak puts it, "You've got to protect your own feelings. If you think you've slept with too many people, be more cautious. If I ever tried to hook up with my ex, I know I'd end up getting hurt, so I won't. With somebody else, I'm still gonna be impulsive and take chances. I won't let a number stop me."

Karyn Bosnak, author of 20 Times a Lady
photo: Courtesy of Karyn Bosnak
Karyn Bosnak, author of 20 Times a Lady


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June 21

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