By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Anybody in the scene knows that inserting new additions into the lesbian dating pool is like throwing raw meat to hungry lions. "The Chart," anyone? Seriously though, during Pride, fresh eye candy is reason enough to call in sick for the, um, week. That said, dancing up on said newcomers (hell, and regulars, your long-time girlfriend, or your "pal" for that matter) is even better. It's a party y'all and all the dykes and transgendered are invited.
Why not begin the weekend on Thursday? (You're taking off work anyway.) Revving things up is the underground house, Afrobeat, and soul bash Ubiquita [Sutra, 16 First Avenue, 212-677-9477, $5 to $10]. Full disclosure: I'm performing, but I swear on my best pasties, I hold no bias! The theatrically fabulous Maine joins me in go-go erotica, while Reborn, Selly, Monica, and special guests Rehka (of Basement Banghra) and Sharee (of Starlight, Bar d'O, and Wonderbar) get on the ones and twos. Catch stacked (as in kabam!) chicas as they pass around sushi, chocolate-covered strawberries, and shots during the earlier hours.
On Friday, the Brooklynites will be sporting their funkiest duds to Cirrah [Cattyshack, 249 Fourth Avenue, 718-230-5740, noon, $5 to $15]. Regal hostess Aja leads the way on two floors, while go-go mavens work up a sweat to DJ Beyonda and Daryl Raymond's hip-hop and house downstairs. Upstairs you'll hear music by artists like Joan Jett (a onetime visitor), Hall and Oates, and the Cure via DJ Fucci. On the other side of the water, Lovergirl NYC and Exclusive Entertainment are throwing their third annual GlamNYC Pride kickoff [Roxy, 515 West 18th Street, 212-947-3978, 9:30 p.m., $25 to $30]. Entertaining 1,000 sparsely dressed women (to rub up on!), dance music diva Ultra Naté sings hits like the gay fave "Free," while Roc-A-Fella's R&B princess Teairra Mari also does her thing. Plus, there's a gymnastic erotic showcase by the DC Badd Girls and Lady. DJs China and Mary Mac blend it all together.
Speaking of athletic feats, Saturday is practically a party marathon. If you plan on leaving the Dyke March [starting at Bryant Park, 42nd Street and Sixth Avenue, 5 p.m., free] early, the drinking can begin at Heritage of Pride's Rapture (Pier 54, 13th Street and the Hudson River, 212-206-7579, 5 to 10:30 p.m., $24 to $25). Thousands (yes, plural) of diverse lady lovers sway on the pier to house anthems and more by DJs Brenda Black and Twisted Dee. To top it off, all proceeds go to New York City Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Pride Week events and community organizationsno guilty pleasures here! After dusk, go club-hopping, starting with the indoor-outdoor waterfront after-party for Rapture, Pier Pressure (Chelsea Brewing Company, Pier 59, West Side Highway and 18th Street, henriettahudson.com, 9 p.m., free with Rapture stub, $15 to $25 without). Kristy Kay (of "I Touch Myself" notoriety) and KTU's Judy Torres give 2,000 revelers a show, while a gaggle of go-gos get down to house, hip-hop, and more by DJs Chip Chop and Henrietta's Kim Dazy and Stacy.
From there (if you ever make it out), stumble on over to Shescape's White Party [Pressure, 110 University Place, 9 p.m., $15 to $20; see shescape.com for their Friday and Sunday events]. They've got this nifty idea for singles: Upon entry, you get a number and stag bracelet to wear. Potential interests drop a message and your number with staff, who post your digits on a big screen for all to see. You retrieve the note, read it, hook up, or wait for more to flow in. This is better than speed dating! On the West Side, DJs Trini, Missy B, Tease, and Mary Mac spin everything from classic house to R&B at Lovergirl NYC [Speed, 20 West 39th Street, $20 to $25, lovergirlnyc.com]. America's Next Top Model winner Eva will be joining the sapphically inclined for all-night photo ops. Talk about eye candy!
Providing that you're still moving (come on, troupers, it's nothing a Bloody Mary couldn't fix!), Sunday is the final stretch. PostPride Parade, Desilicious [Pepper, 95 Leonard Street, 212-713-5111, sholayevents.com, 10 p.m., $20] brings the girls and boys togetherwe do love each other after allby celebrating Bollywood-style with hip-shaking house, bhangra, and more compliments of DJs Ashu Rai and Bobby. Nearer to the procession and beginning right as the parade ends, Snapshot [Bar 13, 13th Street and University Place, 6 p.m., $7, snapshotnyc.com] is having its second annual roof deck shindig, including a DJ on each floor (Dario Speedwagon, Ingie Pop, Noa D., and Daryl Raymond)taking turns spinning '80s, reggaetón, and more until the wee hours.
And now it's time to say goodnight, the bars and clubs have gone dark, the plastic whistles and rainbow beads returned to their dusty homes, and the dancing shoes tossed off. All that's left in the itinerary is to snuggle up next to a new (or steady!) lover, nurse on Emergen-C, and sleep until noon. Now that's living!