'Say Uncle'

You'll be begging for mercy well before the end of this self-righteous, thoroughly unsavory "farce" about a lonely gay man who—gosh darn it—can't seem to stop getting mistaken for a pedophile. Hmm . . . do you think it could have something to do with his odd habit of playing with strangers' children in public parks, luring unsuspecting neighbor boys into his apartment, and plastering the town with xeroxed babysitting flyers that sport a terrifying image of his pasty visage? Well, the thought never dawns on Paul ( Queer as Folk star Peter Paige, who also wrote, directed, and produced), who wanders morosely through life, lamenting his dead-end telemarketing job, rebuffing the advances of his long-suffering best friend, and pining creepily for his two-year-old godson, whose parents, wisely, have just moved halfway around the world. What Paul really wants to do is paint—hideous, faux-naïf canvases that the movie keeps telling us are "beautiful." Would that the big, bad world of uncaring straight people weren't standing in his way, from a boss who refuses to indulge Paul's artistic genius to the contemptible power mom (Kathy Najimy) who's certain Paul "fits the profile" of a sex offender. Uncle! Uncle!