DIY Sex Toys

Why does the purple Magic Marker smell like ass?

In a 2001 sex survey by The Portland Mercury, 6 percent of people reported they "had sex with fruit" and 10 percent got it on with a vegetable. When it comes to food, don't think just because it's edible, you can put it in places other than your mouth. Anything that contains starch or sugar (potatoes, candy, Popsicles) can lead to a yeast imbalance in your pussy. The skin of non-organic fruits and vegetables contains pesticides, and cured meat like salami and sausage contains nitrites and other nasty preservatives; no one wants that in the hoo-ha. Did you know that there is some research that shows that certain foods—including melon, banana, zucchini, and cucumber—can aggravate ragweed allergies? I know a guy who stuck a cucumber up his butt and broke out in hives. Bet it was fun explaining that to the emergency room nurse. When in doubt and to reduce the risk of having to tell a health care professional why your insides reek of pepperoni, cover your chosen tool with a condom. Better yet, save your cash for something bright and shiny from Babeland. Because you're worth it.

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