Share
'Mini's First Time'
Luke Y. Thompson
Tuesday, July 4th 2006
Remember when the presence of Alec Baldwin and Jeff Goldblum was a decent guarantee of a pretty good movie? It's been a while. Here, they both play second fiddle to the omnipresent voiceover narration and bikini-clad bod of Thirteen's Nikki Reed, reprising her shtick as a dangerous delinquent, here determined to undertake as many different first-time experiences as possible, including murder. Reed's Mini is the latchkey kid of Hollywood failures, with a mom (Carrie-Anne Moss, reprising her Chumscrubber role) who drinks herself into oblivion and a stepfather (Baldwin) who hires hookers. When Mini herself turns to tricks, a coincidental meeting turns her stepdad into her lover. Mini is impossible to like, especially since she delivers some of the worst narration ever spoken, and her final lines are like a big middle finger to viewers foolish enough to enjoy the film. Only Goldblum, as a creepy neighbor, commands any attention, with bits that feel like they were completely improvised, or brought in from a different story.
Site Search «
Most Popular
-
The Strangest Landlord-Tenant Relationship In Town? Stacked up in cubicles for decades, immigrants living in a Bowery tenement may have a very unusual situation.
-
Spike Jonze Can't Quite Get Spirit of Where The Wild Things Are On Screen Max and the gang's all here. Let the mild rumpus start!
- A Bloomberg Score Card: The Mayor's Hits and Misses
- We've Bailed out the Banks. When Do We Go After the Crooks Behind our Financial Collapse?
- On Michael Jackson's Mercifully Goofy, Cheerful This Is It
| buy, sell, trade 10,094 | musician 3,585 |
| rentals 12,810 | jobs 1,965 |
| adult entertainment 34,513 | |
| classifieds | backpage.com | Post ads for free! | |
|---|---|