By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
"Who sang the hit song 'Pass the Dutchie' in 1982?" asks Swizzle with a lounge-lizard leer.
"That would be my testicals, Dick," replies a bar regular, choosing offense as the best defense.
While no one leaves the stage empty-handed (there are Budweisers for all), such a cavalier attitude leaves more room for serious players with their eye on the cash.
"We are fiercely competitive and have a lot of useless knowledge at our disposal," proclaims 28-year-old Marlena Bittner.
Among this gaming crowd, the advantage of age is obvious. Here, the '80s category might be considered somewhat ironic but the '70s category is perceived as downright arcane.
"What kind of car was the Dukes of Hazzard's General Lee?"
"A Corvette?" comes the tentative reply.
"Fool!" shouts someone in the back of the room. Just when you begin to wonder why anyone would subject their deficiencies to such public scrutiny, the whole roomcontestants and hosts includedbursts into laughter.
"It's all about group participation," concurs Crane.
'It's all about gorgeous people of every jurisdiction," says 26-year-old Sasha Gichner, scanning the glittery crowd at the sixth-month anniversary of Love Ahoy, a live dating show held at Galapagos once a month.
Tonight's installment, a special bisexual edition, features the comely 22-year-old bachelorette Miriam Levin and her suitors21-year-old Asia Dillon, 24-year-old Barbara Seifert, and the sole male, 27-year-old Gidalya Tashmanwho find themselves sensually eating éclairs, making badger noises, and describing their intimate grooming habits. The questions, like the decor and the contestants, are chosen by Ahoy's fabulous roller-disco girl Erin Cambell.
"We have a sign-up sheet, but I post on Craigslist and MySpace," explains Cambell. "It's not as easy as I thought it would be to find contestants, but I try to put compatible people on the same show."
"Most of the people in the audience don't have the guts to get up onstage," admits co-host Miss Allison, "but they love to watch."
During the talent portion of the evening, Dillon and Seifert both sing songs, but Tashman makes a cocktail that curls Levin's toes.
To their great surprise, Levin selects Dillon. Still, it's not a complete loss for the runners-up. In fact, they leave with consolation prizesand each other.
Thrilled by the news, co-host Jake Stronghorn exclaims: "That's it! We've got to get everyone hooked up. The audience, the staff, the tech crew, everyone."
Looking out over the crowd gyrating on the dancefloor, it's not difficult to imagine.