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Urban Chaos: Riot Response
Publisher: Eidos
Developer: RockSteady

What good is a first person shooter, really? Is it like never-erotic masturbating just to get to sleep? I mean, is the real purpose of a shooter to calm you down and to relax you as opposed to the prevailing opinion that a shooter gets you going and makes you violent?   

Those of you who peruse this column know that I don't really care for first person shooters. The reasons? First, we're in a fake war that I never believed in, and there's enough shooting going in that to last a life time. Beyond this, most shooters haven't changed all that much since Doom and Castle Wolfenstein. Even more, they don't have the full stories I need to keep my attention. With the exceptions of the Halo and Doom series, I haven't enjoyed a shooter for some time.   

This is your screen on Prey.
image: 2K Games
This is your screen on Prey.

Details

Prey
Publisher: 2K Games
Developer: Venom Games
Platform: PC, Xbox 360
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    Having said that, the next two columns will be devoted to shooters that have gone above and beyond aiming, blasting, and running around. URBAN CHAOS: RIOT RESPONSE not only has a good story, it has an intriguing back story. Nick Mason has been sent to the Middle East to fight the never-ending battle on terrorism. He receives a frantic message from his father's friend: Nick's dad has been killed in a horrible gang attack. To complicate matters, violent gangs have taken over Nick's town, which is pretty much like the Big Apple, New York City. Nick is asked to return to the city to avenge his Dad's death and to rid the place of the marauding gangs. Despite the fact that you'll question how Mason got out of his military duties without snafus, you'll understand Mason's motivation to return and fight on his home turf.  

    Urban Chaos mimics Halo in the sense that you'll have a tough-talking superior, Sgt. Adam Wolf, to tell you where to go to accomplish various missions. It also includes TV news bulletins which introduce these missions. Although the emotionless newscaster seems to be on Prozac (she should have watched newscasters in New York on 9-11 or drunk some coffee), the TV setup does get you juiced to join cops and firemen as you deal with the gang violence. However, the web site made in tandem with the game, channel7news.tv, is full of fury and angst including a terrorist video from the leader of the despicable gang, The Burners. With his Jason/Halloween-like mask, he's one scary guy.  

    There's complexity here. Everyone seems to be embattled, from Wolf, whose riot unit is constantly criticized to the city's mayor, who's lambasted for his bloated spending policies. All of this makes for a game that's rarely one-dimensional. There's satire here, too, which makes Urban Chaos all the more fun to play. Add to this the kind of high-tension banter that occurs during frantic moments on TV's ER, and you've got a real winner.  

    Beyond the nicely-presented story, two elements make Urban Chaos a superior game. The first is the precise aiming and targeting technology. It lets you home in on your quarry with such amazing specificity that you'll be able to hit your man as he cowardly hides behind an innocent hostage. This kind of shooting makes me feel better about gunning someone down. It's not just shooting to move forward in the game. You feel like you're saving someone, and that's a good feeling.  

    As a member of the riot response team, you'll be outfitted with a special shield which takes damage as bullets hit it, but also protects you. Plus, you can use it as a battering ram and as a weapon when Burners get a little too close for comfort. You'll also have a stun gun and some Molotov cocktails. Finally, while you'll be killing often, this is no mere run-and-gun. Sometimes you'll have to bring a gang member in for questioning. When he fesses up to authorities, new missions will be unlocked.  

    Urban Chaos: Riot Response isn't a stunningly new game. But it's made with more than enough care and more than enough tweaks to the old shooter genre. It's a solid, thoughtful game full of action and humor that will keep you going for hours after which you won't have to masturbate to get to sleep.

    Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow
    Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
    Developer: 7 Studios/Buena Vista Games

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
    Publisher: Buena Vista Games
    Developer: Amaze Entertainment

    It's inelegant and definitely not p.c. to say it. But across popular culture, in the movies, in pop music, and in literature, everyone loves and even admires a cool drunk (except occasionally the drunk himself). Critics marvel at the ludicrous ways of Keith Richard and his death-defying habits that make it seem he's made a deal with the devil. Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men portrays the cool drunk who gets the girls and spews witty one-liners. Way back when the 20s roared, drink was the stuff of depression and a kind of muse for F. Scott Fitzgerald. Later this week, Johnny Depp reprises his role as the cool, drunk pirate in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, replete with the signature Keith Richard hipness and the Joe Cocker stagger. (Dead man's chest, by the way, is a phrase from Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island, which appears as part of the 'bottle of rum' song in the second paragraph of the first chapter.)  

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