Friday 8/4

[Comedy]

Strangers With Jokes
Stephen Colbert acolytes unite

Worshippers of Stephen Colbert, rejoice. Your dream show has arrived in the form of Fuck Monkeys, yes, Fuck Monkeys (it gets funnier every time you say it). After a hit run last summer, the vaudeville show of "tasteless wonderful humor" returns, featuring a rotating lineup of writers, producers, and cast members from The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, and Strangers With Candy. Matt Lappin, the segment producer of The Colbert Report and a writer for Strangers With Candy, hosts the evening and promises some original performances of his own. (Tonight he'll be in an orange prison jumpsuit singing "You Don't Wanna Go to Guantánamo" with two women in burkas singing backup.) Also on the bill are Rory Albanese (senior producer of The Daily Show), the Rag Show puppeteers Tim Lagasse and Jim Napolitano (whose work has appeared on various Jim Henson productions), and rock band Delano Grove (featured on the Strangers With Candy movie soundtrack). See myspace.com/thefuckmonkeys for all the bizarre details. At 9:30, Galapagos, 70 North 6th Street, Brooklyn, 718-782-5188, $8 ANGELA ASHMAN

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[Conference]

Alter Nativos
Latin music goes off the beaten path

If you are just getting up on the fact that reggaetón is the next Latin-music sensation, then chances are you haven't been attending the Latin Alternative Music Conference (LAMC). This year's conference is guaranteed to help you update your Latin "It" files—it's jam-packed with Latin American anomalies and heavy hitters. The conference will be held at the Puck Building, after receiving much love from the five boroughs last year. The weekend-long event promises panels, exhibitions, concerts, and showcases featuring the most flavorful alter nativos from the U.S., Spain, and Latin America. Designed to connect music and entertainment industry leaders with music makers, tasters, and tastemakers, LAMC's seventh international gathering of the maverick tribes celebrates Spanish, Spanglish, and even English musical sensibilities. (Miami's crunk cubanito Pitbull will be featured, among others.) Whether homegrown right here in Nueva York or approved for passage by Homeland Security, the LAMC crew brings flavors for all palates, from Latronica and rock to crunk and punk. LAMC's free concerts—co-presented at El Museo del Barrio, Celebrate Brooklyn, and Central Park SummerStage—bless us with the likes of Argentina's Gustavo Cerati (of Soda Stereo fame), Mexican Institute of Sound (MIS), Chile's Los Bunkers, Los Pinker Tones, and Puerto Rico's rebel reggaetóneros Calle 13. Through August 5, Puck Building, 295 Lafayette Street, latinalternative.com, $299. MARINIEVES ALBA

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[Music]

Wake-Up Call
Hip-hop at the break of dawn

What would you do to see your favorite artist? Would you peel yourself out of bed at the crack of dawn? Well, plan on doing just that if you want to see Pharrell and Kanye West perform a half-hour gig for Good Morning America's concert series. The show starts at 8:30 a.m., and there's usually a line and a long wait, so arriving around seven or even, gasp, six to ensure that you get an eyeful is key. Dangling the chance for you to witness a live sample of their inventive hip-hop styles, these rappers-cum-producers just might get you to do the unthinkable. Bryant Park, enter at 41st Street and Sixth Avenue, abcnews.go.com, free KEISHA FRANKLIN

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[Readings]

Die Bridget Jones! Die!
Anthology highlights women with brains

In the world of chick lit, a woman's search for love and identity regularly concludes with a new designer handbag on one arm and Prince Charming on the other. But this summer, readers fed up with all the Bridget Jones wannabes will find far better beach-reading material with This Is Not Chick Lit, a new anthology edited by Elizabeth Merrick, featuring 18 top American women writers who know how to be smart and funny without the help of diet jokes, bad-hair days, or other lame clichés. Tonight, contributors Jennifer Egan (McSweeney's, The Invisible Circus), Curtis Sittenfeld (author of the national bestseller Prep), and Binnie Kirshenbaum (Married Life, History on a Personal Note) join Merrick to discuss the challenges still facing female authors and their master plan to eradicate chick lit from the face of the earth. At 7, Barnes & Noble, 2289 Broadway, 212-362-8835, free ANGELA ASHMAN

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Did I do that?: Lucas Caleb Rooney makes magic at Theater 5. photo: Jill Jones

God kept himself rather busy separating light from dark, firmament from waters, and concocting all manner of grass, trees, birds of the air, fish of the sea, giraffes, etc. So busy, in fact, that we imagine he must have been sort of tired, possibly even punchy, by the end of the sixth day. Nothing else would explain the making of clowns. But some clowns seem to take that creation seriously, and one clown is turning his red nose and white face heavenward, re-creating the creation story as a one-man show. Clown and magician Lucas Caleb Rooney offers a riff on the Book of Genesis. Advertised as "hip," if such a thing exists, the family-friendly show features prop comedy and physical feats. While Eve and the serpent ought to make for some good guffaws, we're especially excited to see how director Orlando Pabotoy handles the famed begetting sequence for an all-ages audience. Smutty stuff! Original music, including a threatened ukulele solo, will be provided by Peter Friedland and Javen Tanner. Previews begin August 4, opens August 10, through September 10, Theater 5, 311 West 43rd Street, 5th floor, 212-868-4444, $39 ALEXIS SOLOSKI