Music

What you need to know this week to avoid ostracism

ABRUPT ALT-ROCK RESURGENCE

The frightening realization that the best powerpop record of 2006 is the Gin Blossoms' Major Lodge Victory. Paving the way for the great Spin Doctors revival.

CINEMATIC MASTERWORK

The online contest to pick a line of Optimus Prime's dialogue in the new Transformers movie. Don't suppose "Yeah you don't like me 'cause your bitch most likely does" has any chance.

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

Wondering what Jay-Z and Dale Earnhardt Jr. talked about between takes on the set of Jay's new video. Probably Project Runway.

THIS SONG WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Incidentally, we're all OK with the fact that that song is "Rumpshaker" with better product placement, right? Just checking.

LIFELONG PURSUIT

The arduous, never ending quest for a decent "Rumpshaker" ringtone. I will seriously pay you $20.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR THIS WEEK

The frigid, unstoppable brilliance of Junior Boys' So This Is Goodbye. "In the Morning" is the jam.

ABSTRACT SEXUALITY

That song on the new Robyn Hitchcock record where he yells "Fuck me baby I'm a trolley bus!" over and over. Guaranteed to assist at least one Magnet subscriber in achieving orgasm.

WANTON EMASCULATION

Getting punched out onstage by Jeff Fucking Tweedy. Infinitely more humiliating than Nolan Ryan vs. Robin Ventura.

 
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