Like a Virgin

The case against having sex

For those who don't have a lofty reason for holding on to their virginity, their peers' opinions loom large. Stokes says she never thought about the subject much until her friends made it an issue. "I was always very open about it, but ended up regretting that. They all made fun of me. Half the time I found myself looking at them thinking, 'You're having sex and you're no happier than I am.' " Nobody should be made to feel ashamed of bedroom adventuresor lack of them. Sexual freedom shouldn't come with the price tag of promiscuity, but I also think there's nothing wrong with promiscuity per se. Instead of dic- tating a single standard, we need to embrace each individual's right to make sexual decisions based on his or her own values.

When to lose your virginity, if ever, is a very personal and nuanced decision. We need to respect that some will be ready at 18, some at 28, some even later. Rather than mocking virgins or assuming everyone you know has popped their cherry, realize that your virginal best friend or co-worker may be waiting not just for sex, but acceptance.


Jason Illian, author of Undressed: The Naked Truth About Love, Sex, and Dating
David Bean
Jason Illian, author of Undressed: The Naked Truth About Love, Sex, and Dating

Please visit rachelkramerbussel.com.

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