Music

FRIED COKE
Fried Coke? Dude.

CRITICAL BOONDOGGLE
The gleefully savage reviews doled out to Twyla Tharp'sThe Times They Are A-Changin'.
Shoulda used more trampolines.

UNPLEASANT EPIPHANY
The realization that 85 percent of the bands we all drooled over at CMJ will probably be playing here within two weeks under normal circumstances.
At least our badges looked pretty.

STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
Vanessa Carlton signs to Murder Inc.
The Ja Rule duet is gonna be totally badass.

VIDEO VANGUARD AWARD
J-Shin's perhaps slightly too self-aware clip for "Send Me an E-Mail."
Actual rap lyrics: "This is nothing to LOL about." Also, nice acting job, T-Pain.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR THIS WEEK
Describing the duration of your morning commute by saying, "It's about the length of a song on the new Joanna Newsom record."
Maybe a song and a half if you're taking the R.

POOR JUDGMENT
Stylusmagazine.com's apparently straight-faced suggestion that there are 10 better live albums than Stop Making Sense.
Ludicrous.

TOUGH CHOICES
Turning down Meat Loaf tickets because you already agreed to go see the Shins.
You motherfuckers better actually change my life.