Music

Stuff You Need to Know to Avoid Cultural Ostracism

Alarming mail
Receiving a package with nine copies of the new Primitive Radio Gods record.
Aw, man, musta gotten trashed and surfed cdbaby.com again.

TV Atrocity
The Daily Show cutting off Tom Waits's in-studio performance of "The Day After Tomorrow" in midverse.
Further proof of Colbert's superiority.

Cartoon Planet
Emusic.com's splendid "Bugs Bunny Goes Classical" feature, a list of a dozen serious music pieces appropriated for Looney Toons adventures.
Kill the wabbit, kill the waaaaaaabit!

Internet Insults
Being referred to as "that weenie" in jovial online discourse.
Emasculating.

Yuletide Indicator
Weeping openly upon revisiting the devastating majesty of A Charlie Brown Christmas.
Further emasculating.

Nintendo Proficiency
Whipping everyone's ass at Wii Bowling.
Remasculating.

Yuletide Dilemma
Puzzling over what to buy mom for Christmas given this year's absence of any decent U2 merchandise.
Perhaps she would enjoy the new Primitive Radio Gods record.

 
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