By Keegan Hamilton
By Albert Samaha
By Village Voice staff
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
ARIES(March 21April 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? Here's my answer: a plane ticket to an exotic playground where your mind will get blown and your emotions aired out and your instincts educated. Another gift I'd love you to have would be a pilgrimage to a spot where you lived once upon a time. There you could take advantage of Nelson Mandela's counsel: "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."
TAURUS(April 20May 20): Happy Holy Daze, Taurus! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What item might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? I've decided on Winning With Integrity: Getting What You're Worth Without Selling Your Soul , a book by sports agent Leigh Steinberg. It'll help you be both smart and heartful as you navigate your way through the negotiations you'll be called on to do in the coming months. Here's a taste of Steinberg's advice: (1) Align yourself with people who share your values. (2) Learn all you can about the other party. (3) Create a climate of cooperation, not conflict. (4) Learn to listen. (5) Convince the other party you have an option, even if you don't.
GEMINI(May 21June 20):Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I've been thinking about the perfect holiday gift for you to give yourself. Considering the cosmic currents in 2007, what offering would be most appropriate? The answer is a magic mirror. Why? Because I think you should look at your reflection more often in the coming year. Gaze more deeply into your own eyes and try harder to find out who's really there inside you. Talk to yourself pointedly while you're in front of your magic mirror; ask yourself probing questions. And every now and then, press up close to your reflection for a kiss.
CANCER(June 21July 22): Happy Holy Daze, Can-cerian! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might put you in the right mood to deal proactively with potential problems in 2007? I've decided on a set of those specially designed clothes-storage bags that allow you to suck all the air out, compressing your sweaters and pants so that they take up significantly less space in your luggage or closet. Hopefully these bags will inspire you to come up with creative applications of the "Less is more" principle, which will be a recurring theme for you in the coming months.
LEO(July 23Aug. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Leo! I predict that in 2007, you'll experience a metaphorical version of something that's rare in nature: a gentle birth. There'll be a big new addition to your life, in other words, and its arrival won't hurt a bitit may even feel downright ecstatic. Here's some more mysterious good news: In the coming months, you will have the power to learn from the moon, converse with the dead, and remember your ancient origins. And get this: The adventures that amuse you most could involve foam rubber, distant bells, smoke rising from manholes, plums from Damascus, and exotic trophies. One more thing, Leo: In 2007, brand-new bedtime stories will be mandatory.
VIRGO(Aug. 23Sept. 22): Mythopoeic scholars say that honey symbolizes emotional maturity. When it appears in your dreams or reveries, it may mean you're expanding your capacity to experience feelings that are positive and healthy for you. It suggests you're ready to shed distorted psychological patterns that you unwittingly absorbed as a child, and replace them with new imprints that are in harmony with your highest values. Since 2007 will bring opportunities for you to do these exact things, Virgo, I suggest that you give honey an honored place in your life. Maybe buy some of the best stuff on the market, put it in a fine decanter, and keep it on an altar in your bedroom. Happy Holy Daze!
LIBRA(Sept. 23Oct. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Libra! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007? I've decided on the book Power Unseen: How Microbes Rule the World. In it, author Bernard Dixon praises bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa. Without them, he says, we'd be nothing. They're instrumental in providing our food, purifying our drinking water, and processing our sewage. If you keep Power Unseen in a prominent place in your home during the coming months, it might constantly remind you to be reverent toward and grateful for the little thingswhich is exactly what the astrological omens suggest you should do. Maybe the book will also inspire you to be alert for invisible helpers and inconspicuous allies.
SCORPIO(Oct. 23Nov. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Scorpio! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007? I've decided on Elvis Presley's favorite midnight snack: a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich deep-fried in butter. Why? Because like the King, you should aggressively pursue the unique experiences that will reliably give you comfort and sustenance. Like the King, you should feel no guilt about doing unusual things that you know in your heart will help you perform at your best.
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22Dec. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius! My gift for you is the following oracle: A breakthrough you were blessed with in 1995 will be coming back around in 2007. How? Three possible ways: (1) You'll be inspired to make changes to whatever sprang from that original breakthrough 12 years ago. (2) You'll be visited by a new version of that breakthrough, in a higher octave this time. (3) You'll attempt a quantum leap that resembles the original, but happens in a different area of your life.
CAPRICORN(Dec. 22Jan. 19): Happy Holy Daze, Capricorn! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007? I've decided on Ed Anger's book Let's Pave the Stupid Rainforests & Give School Teachers Stun Guns. Not because I agree with his assertions, but simply because his outrageousness might push you to dream up wild solutions to your same old boring dilemmas; his rowdy spirit may fuel your own rebellious flights of imagination that will inspire you to fight back against the numbing insanity of the loony bin known as "reality."
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20Feb. 18):You should and could be the zodiac's premier networker in 2007. The connections you foster and the deals you broker can save the worldor at least your local segment of the world. In order to pull it all off with maximum effectiveness, you should also be the zodiac's premier fun-maker. Throw parties, tell jokes, and constantly invite people to play harder and take themselves less seriously. What can you do to prepare for this destiny? Start by getting yourself holiday gifts that will help you fulfill your assignments. How about installing a backyard water park, for instance? (Neiman Marcus offers such a thing in its Christmas catalog.) Or some comedy lessons from a person like the humor coach in the film Borat? Happy Holy Daze, Aquarius!
PISCES(Feb. 19March 20): Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might stimulate you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? I've decided on a ladder. This power object will signify two important themes for you: (1) your potential to climb to a higher level of excellence and clout, giving you a more expansive view of your surroundings, and (2) the need to make this ascent carefully and deliberately (not quickly and sloppily), with the aid of simple tools (not with the metaphorical equivalent of an elevator), and with trustworthy assistance (for example, with someone to hold the ladder steady).