Craft Fairs and Cuddle Rooms

Christmas is upon us, so enjoy yourselves—but don't go around grabbing people's lips

This was the first time I'd set foot inside a gym in seven years, but with freakishly scary toy clowns cruising through the air on a swing hung from the ceiling, I wasn't sure it really counted. The usual suspects were all there: Patrick McMullan joined mascots for the ages Richie Rich, Amanda Lepore, and Patrick McDonald, along with at least one unusual suspect: Kelis. This caused a momentary lapse of boredom—my heart rate even went up. (Maybe being in a gym counted after all.) Later, I watched Lepore do what I imagined to be exercise—I wouldn't know, as I haven't seen it or done it for a least a decade—as she danced on a countertop. Later, a plain, middle-aged woman approached her as we were talking. Lepore had been telling me how she didn't keep anything and even gave away her David LaChapelle portraits. "I'm sick of looking at myself!" she said, when the middle-aged woman, who was obviously not sick of looking at Lepore, approached her and exclaimed, "Hi, Amanda! Can I touch them?" She meant Lepore's surgically enhanced lips. She then leaned in to touch said lips as if they were an inanimate object not connected to an actual person. Lepore froze and pulled back. Nonplussed, the woman pulled out a pair of fake plastic lips and put them on: "Look!" she said, modeling her own new face. I turned to Amanda and said, "I can't believe that actually happened." "That actually happened," she sighed. I almost had a heart attack. That's the last time I go to a gym—at least for another seven years.

Suzanne Bartsch's toy drive wasn't exactly normal either
photo: Tricia Romano
Suzanne Bartsch's toy drive wasn't exactly normal either

Details

See also:
  • Glamorous and Freaky, With Heart
    A most unusual toy drive, 12.15.06
    Fly Life Gallery: by Tricia Romano
  • flylife@villagevoice.com

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