By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Push the designated spot on the first of Macy's holiday windows and stars descend or a wild beast roars, but neither flourish affords the faintest clue as to the identities of Sparkle and Twinkle, who, according to the verbose wall text, are the stars of the story. Is Sparkle the elephant with the tartan bow tie? Or the smug-looking penguin who probably has a SAG card tucked under his wing, what with all the movie work he and his ilk has been getting lately? It isn't until the third window that it becomes clear: S and T are actually a pair of humanoids who, with their aviator glasses and red-star-decorated shoulder bags (Macy's, not Mao), look like they're stopping off at an anti-war demonstration on their way to the North Pole.
While Sparkle and Twinkle's adventures are lavishly illustrated, the larger point of their exploits remains maddeningly vague, a situation shared by a lot of the characters inhabiting department store windows this December. But who needs a literal message when you have fizz and music and dazzle and a bevy of moving parts? After all, just as the goal of every play and film is to get the butts in the seats, the whole point of Christmas windows is to get those same hindquarters into the stores. To this end (so to speak), the various themes that businesses promulgate in their displays are calculated to do one thing and one thing only: lure in, entice, and ultimately seduce the customer. In general, the homelier stores aim for the heart; the more expensive venues try to get at your wallet through your brain. This year, the prevailing narratives break down roughly as follows: the gag- inducingly maudlin (Macy's, Lord & Taylor); the archly sophisticated (Bergdorf Goodman, Barneys); and the dim-witted with a not-so-hidden political agenda (Macy's again, Saks Fifth Avenue).
Bearing witness at Bergdorf's
photo: Holly Northrop/hnorthrop.com
Around the corner, Macy's has installed, as it does every year, its Miracle on 34th Street windows, a series of sentimental, if by now somewhat moth-eaten scenes lifted from the 1947 movie that, sartorially at least, bring a lump to the stylish throat. Here the Salvation Army bell ringer wears a nifty scarlet suit and fedora, unlike the real Sally Ann volunteer outside Macy's, who is clad in a sweatshirt and hideous down parka; the replica of little Natalie Wood, who doesn't believe in Santa until he maneuvers to get her the big house she's been eyeing (that'd make me believe in him too), sports a plaid coat, a blue velvet bonnet, knee socks, and pumps, while the contemporary children taking all this in are accoutred like Bratz dolls.
The rosy-colored past is likewise enjoying a revival at Lord & Taylor, where the warm bath of nostalgia encompasses 150 or so years of mushy musings. The first window, dated December 1843, features twirling ballroom dancers and the legend, "My first kiss with William at the Bensons.' " (If she's calling him by his first name and kissing him, I hope they're at least engaged; otherwise she's pretty slutty for 1843.) The ensuing dioramas manage to avoid any hint of the wars that have blighted holidays over the last century and a half, though, judging by the frost on the trees, the 1861 carolers must be Yankees. World War I doughboys are AWOL, but there's a flapper mom with a daughter who looks like Fanny Brice decorating a circa-1925 art deco parlor. Nor is there a tableau featuring a gold-star mother listening to FDR on the radioinstead, the action skips to 1954, where there's a granny in a rocker and two kids stuck with the same kinds of toys Santa had for Sparkle and Twinkle. As it turns out, 1954 is the last installation, which is a shame, since it would be fun to see frolickers in disco playrooms or Tribeca lofts. But then again, maybe it's just as wellin this celebration of the patriarchy, with its syrupy tribute to the traditional family and the heterosexual ideal, the 1950s really were the end of the line.
While Macy's and Lord & Taylor choose to wallow in Christmases past, the people at Bergdorf Goodman have a radically different agenda. Here the glamorous vitrines are distinctly frosty, and not like the snowman. In one, entitled "Entertainment," a fur-clad mannequin, who does not appear to have come by her ermine wrap honestly, is opening a mirrored door to a polar bear in a bow tie for what may be a spot of Christmas Eve interspecies hanky-panky. Another window presents an angel in a feathered Alexander McQueen gown more suitable to a revival of Angels in America than the traditional Nativity play. But the most arresting display centers on a pair of ethereal twins dressed in black and white and sitting together on a bench in a surreal old-fashioned photo studio, with a slightly crazed look in their eyes. They look for all the world like the notorious Papin sisters, who in 1933 famously murdered their employers and were subsequently memorialized by Jean Genet in The Maids.