Kinky Knitknacks

An old housewifes' craft evolves into a tool of seduction

Thinking about knitting reminds me of when I was a kid learning how to hold and thread needles on the porch of my grandmother's beach house. It's been well over 20 years since I've even touched a ball of yarn, but that hasn't stopped me from noticing that for feisty, crafty girls, knitting is in, and it's laden with erotic overtones. The blogosphere abounds with sites like Yarn Harlot (yarnharlot.ca), Knitphomaniacs (knitphomaniacs.com), and Lick My Sticks (lickmysticks.com), while Bust editor Debbie Stoller (bust.com/knithappens) has authored four how-to books on the subject (notable titles: Stitch 'n Bitch and The Happy Booker), offering up sexy sweaters, a pom-pom capelet, and a lacy evening wrap, and she will even host a knitting cruise in January. If knitting needles make you hot, there's a Sexy Knitters Club (sexyknittersclub.blogspot .com) and three new books to remind you that sex and knitting are intimately intertwined.

Whether you're looking for homemade holiday gift ideas or a way to bring some hotness into the bedroom without resorting to Victoria's Secret, look no further than Nikol Lohr's Naughty Needles, Jennifer Stafford's Domiknitrix, and Ashley Paige's Sexy Little Knits. Each author brings her love for knitting as well as unique style to her designs (hint: it's all about the tease and touch-me fabrics).

image
Ashley Paige's Sexy Little Knits
photo: Yu Tsai.
Nikol Lohr's Naughty Needles
photo: Robyn Eden
Nikol Lohr's Naughty Needles

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    Lohr (naughtyneedlesknitting .com) thinks her book is "more silly than sexy," but I'd beg to differ. In fact, I think Naughty Needles is a misnomer. There's something light and playful about the word naughty, and while her images and patterns have that fun factor, they're also so kinky the book could have easily been called Filthy, Fuck-Me Needles. With pattern titles like "Kinderwhore," "Mrs. Robinson" (modeled by Lohr's hot mom), an eye patch, and a baby-blue ball gag (which Lohr suggests stitching "Quiet Time" across), this is not mere peekaboo. We're talking full-on seduction mode—fishnets, straitjackets, whips, and plenty of racy lingerie. Maybe it's just that Lohr has a dirty mind; almost half her original ideas were too risqué for her publisher, Potter Craft, and will now find a home in Dirty Needles, an even edgier side project. Next on her agenda is an all-knit burlesque show in Kansas City, Kansas.

    Stafford makes the very process of knitting sound like something all dirty girls should take up ASAP. "A domiknitrix lives to whip her knitting into shape. The yarn sits up and begs to be wrapped around her little needle," she proclaims on her website (domiknitrix.com). "I think it's only natural that when you spend as much time on anything as I do knitting, you'll fetishize it a bit," explains Stafford. Her book offers how-to tips on everything from the Li'l Red Riding Hoodie (perhaps for a date with a guy wearing the Big Bad Wolf Pullover) to the Diva Halter and Winged Heart Bralet, as well as a devil hat that would look perfect with a pitchfork. The entire process is enough to get her worked up. "Fondling yarn is such a sensual experience, and twisting it rhythmically around a warm wooden needle can be positively entrancing. Completing an exciting knitting project is joyfully climacti too," she confesses.

    According to Stafford, part of the allure of knitting (for wearer or admirer) is in the kind of yarn you use. "Knit fabric is stretchy and clingy, so we might admire the form of the body underneath if that clinginess is properly exploited," she says. "When I design knitwear, I place each stitch precisely, aiming to design the sexiest thing imaginable," explains the voice engineer by day, "knitting evangelist" by night. Lohr recommends silk and luxury animal fibers for their "liquidy drape." She adds, "Merino is buttery and clingy. But leather and metallics, while less pleasing to handle when knitting, produce such interesting results that they're rather sexy too."

    Fashion designer Ashley Paige's (ashleypaige.com) contribution to the burgeoning genre is Sexy Little Knits, which taught me that knit bikinis can be totally hot. With the pink cozy sleeper, I couldn't help wanting to fondle the model sporting it, and Paige warns wearers, "You might not get much sleep in that number." Think bare nipples rubbing against the softest fabric imaginable and you'll see what we mean. Paige also offers up a faux-suede bikini, a mesh nightgown, and "sexpot" cami and bottom. "Showing skin is nearly impossible in the winter, but showing your shape and curves is easy," advises Paige. "For instance, a basic black crewneck sweater can't compete with a black wraparound V-neck sweater and matching scarf."

    My friend Tweed started a blog called Knit Porn (knittedporn.blogspot.com), where she posts photos of gals (and the occasional guy) in arm warmers, scarfs, and sweaters. She'd been looking for sexy knitting patterns, when one day, a bookstore visit provided a revelation. "I opened the magazine Knit.1 (knit1mag.com), and my jaw dropped when I saw the centerfold of a hot, shirtless guy lounging on a knit bear and clutching wooden knitting needles in his hands! I thought about the photo all the way home." For Tweed, it's mostly about the presentation, but the process can be arousing as well. "Knitting is a very tactile experience. I often find myself drawn to the most sensuous yarns," she says. "After touching a skein of super-soft yarn, a guy friend joked that feeling it was practically orgasmic."

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