Stuff you need to know to avoid cultural ostracism

Exotic Diseases
The disquieting social phenomenon wherein you think you see Craig Finn everywhere you go.
Like Being John Malkovich with a louder soundtrack.

TV Party
People who seem genuinely shocked and offended that theI'm With Rolling Stone interns are doing interesting and fun and telegenic things, as opposed to normal intern drudgery.
For painstakingly accurate reality programming, we kindly direct you to C-SPAN.

Journalistic Coup
TheOnion headline "Area Man Takes Metallica Audio Tour of Art Museum."

Yup, there's Craig Finn again.
photo: Willie Davis/Veras
Yup, there's Craig Finn again.

Transcendent Concert Experience
The not even remotely amused bouncer forced to stand onstage during Matt & Kim's giddy synth-punk show at Studio B last Saturday night to weed out crowd surfers.
Never in his life did he have a lower opinion of white people.

Bizarre Alliances
Mike Watt's imminent guest appearance on the new Kelly Clarkson album.
He contributed a song titled "Political Song for Kelly Clarkson to Sing."

Severe Guilt Trips
Almost nodding off while Patti Smith reads poetry.
Oh, geez, this will have a positive effect on neither our cred nor our karma.

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