Music

Possibly Mythical Social Constructs
People who don't go to SXSW who enjoy reading detailed reports from people who do go to SXSW.
You do exist, right? Hello? Hello?

Album of the Year This Week
Aw geez, the new Air record stinks.
Let it be known that they got super-boring right after all you douchebags trashed the psychotic and truly righteous 10,000 Hz Legend.

Unholy Unions
Robert Smith collaborates with Korn, voluntarily.
Inspiring horrified music editors to mull over starting a new column called "The Fuck Is Wrong With You?"

DJ Excellence
Spank Rock's truly outstanding contribution to the Fabriclive series.
Even if you've never heard Spank Rock, their set sounds exactly like you'd expect it to sound, i.e. ludicrously sleazy. Nice inclusion of the Romantics' "Talking in Your Sleep."

Music Video Innovation
The Fonz's inexplicable cameo (not to mention the preponderance of ostensibly grown men spanking themselves) in the clip for Say Anything's "Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too."
Still obsessed with this band, sorry.

Sporting Trifle
The endless search for a truly great pun to use as your fantasy baseball team name.
Gold standard at the moment is "T.R.O.Y. O'Leary."

Unfortunate Societal Indicators
The mere existence of a band named "Steaming Wolf Penis."
Our application for "Greatest Generation" is hereby disqualified.