CINEMATIC MASTERWORK Adam Sandler's profoundly disturbing resemblance to Bob Dylan inReign Over Me.
Though it is fun to imagine Bob singing "It's cool to pee yo' pants."
SOCIETAL CONUNDRUMS Wondering why anyone would knowingly watch a video clip of Karl Rove rapping.
Have some respect for yourself.
TECHNOLOGICAL MARVELS That Marshmallow Peepslookin' robot that demonstrates its ability to "incorporate the rhythmic properties of human interactive behavior" by dancing to Spoon's "I Turn My Camera On."
To be honest, it does eerily resemble an overweight thirtysomething dude, with moves that emit similar sex appeal.
RAMPANT NOSTALGIA Rediscovering your love for Quicksand.
Relive your ill-advised mid-'90s hardcore phase. Bonus: the coining of the lyrical term "excrementable."
SONGWRITING TRIUMPHS "1-2-3-4!" count-offs in the middle of songs.
The true legacy of "Born to Run."
INSTRUCTIVE RAP SLANG Applying the advice "Throw some D's on that bitch" to other areas of your life.
Such as changing the batteries in your boombox or grading economics exams.
DISSENTING OPINIONS Enraged e-mails threatening violence because you deigned to publicly praise Jesse Malin.
Any message that starts "HOLY CHRIST!![Author punches an old lady walking nearby]" is probably worth your time.
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