'The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai'

Expanded by a half-hour from its prior incarnation as a pinku eiga (or "Pink film," a still-popular breed of Japanese softcore porn that began in the early '60s), the formerly titled Horny Home Tutor: Teacher's Love Juice is now an apocalyptic political satire. After a grueling day at the office, role-playing prostitute Sachiko Hanai (Emi Kuroda) adjourns to a café, where she's suddenly caught in the crossfire between two terrorists—one North Korean, the other Middle Eastern—whose power meeting has gone awry. Taking a bullet in the head that transforms her into a mathematical genius, Sachiko dazedly walks off, inadver- tently taking with her a lipstick-like cylinder that holds the cloned red finger of George W. Bush. "This is the finger that determines the destiny of the world," barks a Dubya-masked man on a living television straight out of Videodrome, as our glamorous hero is penetrated on a rooftop by her newfound property, thus adhering to the "sex scene every 10 minutes" rule of Pink.