Music

PERTINENT JOURNALISM
Hey, thanks for your detailed Coachella reports, everybody.
God dammit, I wasn't there, so who gives a crap, garrrrhrhrhhhh.

NEW FRONTIERS IN NARCISSISM
Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz cracks People magazine's Most Beautiful People 2007 list.
Suggested wise-ass song title: "Finally, Halle Berry and I Are on the Same Page."

WOEFUL COVER VERSIONS, LEGACY EDITION
Chipotle still bombarding people in line with Smash Mouth's cover of Steely Dan's "Do It Again."
How about you assholes stay away from my dad's record collection.

THIS SONG WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Totally disoriented iTunes user reviews of the White Stripes' "Icky Thump."
"This song has many random noises but makes for a very cool song overall," indeed.

HELPFUL LINER NOTES
Avril Lavigne providing all the lyrics toThe Best Damn Thing.
Yeah, parts of "Girlfriend" were really hard to follow.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR THIS WEEK
Incidentally, The Best Damn Thing is fuckin' sweet.
Even the song about dragons.

POLITICAL BOONDOGGLES
Michelle Malkin writes out the choruses of popular rap songs to underscore their unsavory nature.
Thanks, Michelle, for confirming that Young Jeezy's "Go Getta" goes, "You Damn Right Ima Go Getta (Ey) Go Getta (Ey) Go Getta (Yea)." That's probably not in the liner notes.